twinkle twinkle_indian style ;)

u shud watch dis.. its soo funny!!

feelin lyk a total screw up in driving :'(

My god.. i dont think i've been so lack of confidence in my lyf up till now! dis morning driving lesson was such a screw up .. i actualy went and hit the pole during my parking! how embarassing can dat be?!! christ.. and dat f**cked up instructor isnt makin me feel any better( why wud he.. i juz wrecked his car..) but.. im stil lerning.. its not fair dat im the onli one whose not getting it right! its sooo nonsensified dat i cant tek it!

i dah la pantang giler ppl scolding me.. but this bloody instructor said i was lembap.. god..lembap.. me?? even my mom nvr called me lembap.. everythin wasnt ryt today.. it was his fault to begin with! which idiot instructor wud message a person 6.30 am in da morning to tell u dat ur having a lesson at 8am?!! let alone called me at 7.3o while i was still sleeping to remind me dat???!!

u wudnt blive it.. i almost cried today.. i just wanted to kill sumbody!!! even now.. as im writing dis!! im soo bloody irritated and angry! hw did others get their licence so easily?? did dey hv to put thru with such pain in the ass as well? oh come on.. i don think it was dat bad for others... probably dey had sweet and patient instructor.. and yea.. wat Is THE DEAL with the one i have anyways???? okay.. i remember him sayin y was he soo strict.. he said.. teenagers these day lyk to pandai pandai.. and they nvr listen to instructions.. dey lyk to pull things off themselves... and dat he wasnt soo strict before but now he is and bla bla bla.. but do i look lyk dat kind of person to yOU!! im an adult( i myself hv doubt in dis one).. but still.. no one called me a lembap before! i kno im slow abit.. but y?? bcoz of u not giving any clear instructions damn it!

as i was driving.. he also called me a robooooOOt :( :( :(.. sayin dat i donno kno hw to do things myself and if i dont get any instruction i cnt do anything.. MY HEART IS SHATERED!!!!! den why d hell u keep givin instructions den? u cud hv juz told me to do it myself.. when u keep giving instructions den obviously i'll hv to follow.. damn ASS!

i kno im ditching alot.. and Lord do forgive me for this.. im angry and i hv to let it out.. im lacking soo much in confidence in driving dat im reali starting to think of quiting.. i wasnt reali prepared initially.. nevertheless i was so excited and eager to master driving but ryt now.. its juz the opposite.. i feel lyk im bein bullied.. emotionaly and verbally abused.. can i juz quIIiit???

sumtyms i wonder why such ppl or such situation get to me soo easily.. honestly i cant b bothered at the moment.. bcoz dat bloody instructor is a total jerk! Lord Jesus.. take control!

PS: public transports are so much better.. and if and i will get my license.. im gonna punch the jerk 1st!

'Tis so sweet

Tis so sweet to trust in Jesus
Just to take Him at His word
Just to rest upon His promise,
Just to know "Thus saith the Lord"


Chorus:
Jesus, Jesus, how I trust Him
How I've proved Himo'er and o'er
Jesus, Jesus, precious Jesus
O for grace to trust Him more


O how sweet to trust in Jesus,
Just to trust His cleansing blood
Just in simple faith to plunge me
"Neath the healing, cleansing flood


Chorus:
Jesus, Jesus, how I trust Him!
How I've proved Himo'er and o'er!
Jesus, Jesus, precious Jesus!
O for grace to trust Him more!


Yes, 'tis sweet to trust in Jesus,
Just from sin and self to cease;
Just from Jesus simply taking
Life and rest, and joy and peace.


Chorus:
Jesus, Jesus, how I trust Him
How I've proved Himo'er and o'er
Jesus, Jesus, precious Jesus
O for grace to trust Him more


I'm so glad I learned to trust Him
Precious Jesus, saviour, friend
And I know that He is with me
Will be with me to the end.

restore dis child o Lord

I've been reali spirituallly down lately.. i reali dont kno y!! its lyk im not inspired to pray at all.. and it was a feelin lyk "im not prayin and i don care" kinda thing.. its soo weird..usually its nvr lyk dis.. especialy with having soo much of things to pray about!!! its meking me hv mood swings alot and i end up giving a hard tym to everyone around me.. i kno i have to commit it to the Lord and its got to hv a full stop to it.

anyways.. im juz requesting a prayer for those who actualy reads this.. plz pray for me.. dat i'll be restored with the craze for Jesus again.. pray for my studies as i'll b joinin the kampar campus nex january for my degree course and also for my driving lessons , for it to go on smoothly dat i'll b calm and less nervous about driving.. hm.. wat else.. dats all for now i guess. well as my pastor once said.. the more ppl prayin the more effectively a prayer wil tek place and i kno i have to put in dat effort as well.. Oh my sweet Jesus.. take over..

honey bee^^

"honey bee"is a song by zee avi.. i dun reali hear indie songs.. but hers r soo nice to hear.. not sure wether bcoz she's also a malaysian.. perhaps its one of the factors.. hehee

Im reali into posting lyrics mood now huh?? sighs..im jus finding soo many songs which is soo beautiful and it reali relates to LIFE.. to my life atleast.. :)

I am a honey bee
Shown out from the colony
And they won’t let me in
So I left the hive
They took away all my stripes
And broke off both my wings
So I’ll find another tree
And make the wind my friend
I’ll just sing with the birds
They’ll tell me secrets off the world

But my other honey bee
Stuck where he doesn’t wanna be
Oh my darling honey bee
I’ll come save you
Even if it means I’ll have to face the queen

So I’ll come prepared
My new friends say they would help me
Get my loved one back
They say it isn’t right
The bees have control of your mind
But I choose not to believe that
So we’ll meet in the darkness of the night
And I’ll promise I will be there on time
We’ll be guided by my new friends the butterflies
Bring us back to our own little hive

Oh my other honey bee
No longer stuck where he doesn’t wanna be
Oh my darling honey bee
I have saved you
And now that you’re with me
We can make our own honey..


how much more metaphoric and personalised can a song be.. hmm.. :)

... ... realy my best fren???

I duno wat made me write dis title.. well actully i do.. i hv many many many doubts bout is the person i consider as my best fren..reali is my best fren???

wat is a best fren? hw does sumone bcum ur best fren? hw in a way she stands out from among the rest dat u consider her to b the BEST of frens?? i've always tot best frens are lyk sisters.. dey are der for each other thru thick and thin.. always b der to hear out each others problems.. give a shoulder to cry on.. bla ..bla..bla.. but who am i kidding..?? in other words..wat im tryin to say is.. hw did i choose my best fren???? was it bcoz i knew her all my life?? was it becoz we juz randomly bcame best frens?? why is it dat im soo inquisitive over the best frend i hv?? if u realise.. everything juz lies in a question mark.. and when comes down to it.. i juz realise dat the person i tot of as my best frend isnt realy my best fren.. coz shes jus busy bein a "perfect" frend to others.... when im juz blown off to the corner.. mayb not all the tym..but most of the tym..hm..

mayb sum say its jelousy.. but im soo over the jelousy part.. becoz.. v've been togather soo long.. i read her so well.. been der for her when she was upset.. been der for her throughout her regrets and whenever she meks d wrong choices in life.. been der for her to advise her thru thick and thin.. the biggest question comes is ... was she der for me...???

throughout dis one yer.. i've gotten to kno many frens.. sum were thruthful.. sum were nice.. sum were downright mean( i gif these ppl back in da face! ).. sum were useless.. sum were juz fake.. atleast dey were honest.. but.. hw many faces hv u shown me through dis one yer?? haiz..bein the idiotic me.. i juz kept quiet..

am i hurt..?? yes i am.. bcoz i dun even kno wether my frenship mean anything to u.. or watever i've been doin or hv done for u ever rings a bell??..or atleast an appreciation?? hv u ever come to my house to c me when v'r back in our humtown?? ow.. i remember...u came.. but it was nvr for me.. and u kno very well for wat.. hv u ever given me a call?? hv u ever treated me with a smile when im over at ur house..?? all were juz replaced wit ur snobbish character.. u nvr look at me in the eyes whenever im talkin.. imagine hw wud i feel when a tv or a laptop is more important den me?? and worst... 'sorry's onli came after it was asked for..

i kno v hv many difrences.. many.. not even one similarity.. physically and mentally.. perhaps dats the root to everything..

usually ...im not dis stupid to stick around for an unwanted frenship.. or to b frens with sumone who thinks she's so high and mighty.. i've been patient.. always accepting the things dat tek place .. forgiving even when the forgiveness wasnt ask for.. mayb is coz i've known her since v were kids.. i love her soo much not onli as a fren but also a sister.. bcoz her family is lyk a 2nd family to me. dey tek me everywhere as tho im part of their family.. but dis is wat happens.. ppl juz climb over my head.. i dono y im writing dis.. mayb its coz i've jz had enuf.. its reali upsetting..if my frenship is goin to be taken granted of..den y wanna cheat each other by faking to be best of frens..... ryt??

im not askin u to be d perfect fren to me..nor am i desperate for ur frenship..all im askin is atleast b a good fren is enough.. grow up..and humble urselft.. now is dat too much to ask?? the truth of the matter is.. i've learn to seek God thru thick and thin.. God is der to hear me out.. and God is der to gif me a shoulder to cry on.. JESUS became and is my BEST FRIEND :)

hosanna

feeling very spiritually down lately.. no mood to pray.. unable to feel His presence.. i kno its bad.. and need to get back on my feet!! the "no mood" thing also came to blogging.. having a pc with bad Internet connection reali suck..haiz.. nevertheless.. i've been hearing "hosanna" from hillsong quite often. it reminds me of how much i long for God.. to b with Him as He has been with me..and not praying.. i feel lyk an ungrateful scumbag.. feeling soo sad dat im not giving back to Him as how i shud..



Dear God..

heal me from my sins and unforgivingness.. heal me spritually and not let any outside force or any sort of worldly enpowerment to hover over me but only for ur grace, mercy, blessing, and Your truthfulness to guide me to thy full capacity and use me as thy instrument to spread thy mighty word oh Lord..


hear the song.. especaly the bridge part.. god its soo powerfull!!
it means alot to me.. hope it effects u the way it does for me..

HOSANNA
I see the king of glory

Coming on the clouds with fire

The whole earth shakes

The whole earth shakes


Yeeeah


I see his love and mercy

Washing over all our sin

The people sing

The people sing


[Chorus]

Hosanna

Hosanna

Hosanna in the highest x2


I see a generation

Rising up to take their place

With selfless faith

With selfless faith

I see a near revival

Stirring as we pray and seek

We're on our knees

We're on our knees



[Bridge]

Heal my heart and make it clean

Open up my eyes to the things unseen

Show me how to love like you have loved me

Break my heart from what breaks yours

Everything I am for your kingdoms cause

As I go from earth to Eternity........



[Chorus] x2

Hosanna in the highest