Through It All

this song has been on my mind for a few days now.. so just thought of posting it ;)

Hillsong United Through It All
You are forever in my life
You see me through the seasons
Cover me with Your hand
And lead me in Your righteousness

And I look to You
And I wait on You

I'll sing to You Lord
A hymn of Love
For Your faithfulness to me
I'm carried in everlasting arms
You'll never let me go
Through it all

You are forever in my life
You see me through the seasons
Cover me with Your hand
And lead me in Your righteousness

And I look to You
And I wait on You

I'll sing to You Lord
A hymn of Love
For Your faithfulness to me
I'm carried in everlasting arms
You'll never let me go

I'll sing to You Lord
A hymn of Love
For Your faithfulness to me
I'm carried in everlasting arms
You'll never let me go
Through it all

Everlasting Father, I love You
Ever living Savior, I love You

Everlasting Father, I love You
Ever living Savior, I love You

I'll sing to You Lord
A hymn of Love
For Your faithfulness to me
I'm carried in everlasting arms
You'll never let me go
Through it all"

T_T

*offs music player..*

I went for driving and i wish i cud b proud but only to sadly say that i FAILED~!!

Gosh... i just dono wat to say.. i do feel a little ashame..oops.. did i say a little.. i mean ALOT!

i felt lyk crying so badly.. but i was angry at the same time and the tears wudnt flow..

i felt angry.. at the JPJ fella.. at the road.. at the cars on the road.. and at myself!

i wudnt lie.. i was angry at God too.. i felt He cheated me.... but i kno dats not true at the same time..

just that... i prayed soo hard.. just felt i deserve better..... :(

Dear Lord.. why do i always have to go through this?? im reali sad u kno.. i feel lyk a total loser.. okay dat not true.. i dont feel lyk a loser.. im just sad.. but hw many more failure will you put me through ar?? i feel lyk im constantly on a repeating sphree.. i fail den repeat.... fail den repeat.. same in my studies..and its the same now.. haih..

okay.. just a reminder.. dis is not me talking.. its the sad, frustrated,exhausted, sick and tired and angered me talking.. just hope i'll get over it... not hope.. i kno i'll get over it.. so Lord .. keep me in mind..

Broken-Hearted Girl

No particular reason .. just loving the lyrics.. :)

Beyonce - Broken-Hearted Girl Lyrics:
You're everything I thought you never were
and nothing like I thought you could have been
but still, you live inside of me, so tell me how is that?
You're the only one I wish I could forget
the only one I love to not forgive
and though you break my heart, you're the only one
and though there are times when I hate you
'cause i cant erase
the times that you hurt me and put tears on my face
and even now, while i hate you, it pains me to say
I know I'll be there at the end of the day

*I don't wanna be without you, babe
I don't want a broken heart
Don't wanna take a breath without you, babe
I don't wanna play that part
I know that I love you, but let me just say
I don't wanna love you in no kind of way, no no
I don't want a broken heart
I don't wanna play the broken-hearted girl
No, no, no broken-hearted girl

There's something that I feel I need to say
But up til' now I've always been afraid that you would never come around
And still I wanna put this out

You say you've got the most respect for me
But, sometimes I feel you're not deserving of me
And still, you're in my heart
But you're the only one
And yes, there are times when I hate you, but I don't complain
'Cause I've been afraid that you would walk away
Oh, but now I don't hate you
I'm happy to say
That I will be there at the end of the day

*

Now I'm at a place I thought I'd never be, ooh
I'm living in a world that's all about you and me, yeah
Ain't gotta be afraid, my broken heart is free to spread my wings and fly away, away with you....

I don't wanna be without my baby
I don't want a broken heart
Don't wanna take a breath without my baby
I don't wanna play that part
I know that I love you, but let me just say
I don't wanna love you in no kind of way, no no
I don't want a broken heart
I don't wanna play the broken-hearted girl
No, no, no broken-hearted girl
Broken-hearted girl
No broken-hearted girl"

love, from ur Father in heaven

I went to church last saturday( churches are mostly saturday here ^^).. anyway.. yea.. i went to church last saturday.. thank God it was Pastor Ambrose.. its been so long since i herd him preach.. and when he preaches.. pheew.. does it make an impact..!!

So yea, coming to the point.. i think most shud kno by now that i'll be goin to Kampar next yer January for my degree in Computer Engineering.. well.. my course computer engineering isnt an engineering course but more of information technology course.. if i say im doin computer engineering not many will give a positive feedback.. dat obviously saddens me.. ppl luk at me as if im not gonna get a high paid job or something.. >:( .. but computer engineering is not lyk dat.. it has such a wide range of work becoz it covers almost all of wat we need to know bout the cyber world! i think dat the percentage for me to get a job is definately high depending which part of the field im good in.. but still..its not dat i dont get a positive feedback.. i do.. but.. very little.. so in away.. im scared.. vulnerable..

i prayed bout it before choosing the course.. u kNo dat God is der.. sometimes when u dont get the ryt feedback.. u just cnt help but to doubt.. it makes me angry knowing that ppl judge the course i do without knowing what the course really is all about.. all in all it just makes me feel soo upset.. now dat im goin all the way to kampar is kinda freakin me out a little..

so towards the end of the service... the pastor told us to find a partner.. i ended up with the pastor's wife.. heh..heh.. he then told us to strech out our both our hands and put it facing ur both of ur partner's hands.. before dat he said God has giving both ur hands power heal.. den he said.. i want u to now just close ur eyes and pray.. see what God wants u to tell ur partner bout themselves.. i just did what he told... i didnt expect to c anything anyways.... true enough i DIDNT.. keke.. but the pastor's wife did.. O_O

she whispered into my ears and said : God sees vulnerableness in you... dat u feel vulnerable to the place you're goin.. and He wants u to kno dat He's there for u through each step u take.. just trust in Him..

den she looked at me and said: "i kno u dont have anything to say to me.. its okay.. "den she gave me a warm smile and a hug..and squeeze my hands and said : "trust Him Lydia.. trust Him!!"

that kinda gave me the motivation and also the boost of confidence dat i needed.. and my faith is restored.. and so it also brings me back to when i was form 5 preparing for spm.. and also not knowing wat career i'll b choosing.. it was beginning of the year.. there was a prophetic seminar for 2days in seremban evangel.. on the second day .. dey had a combine adult and youth service.. it was conducted by a south african pastor named Freaky Baker(i kno .. he has a funny name..hehe) .. so he started off by sayin God is gonna speak to us today.. He's gonna phophesy.. and he's gonna heal.. he started with the youths: " who feels unsure about the future.. bout the which path to choose now dat u've finish with ur studies....etc.... " hearing wat he said.. just made wanna stand up.. kept my fingers crossed hoping dat God wud hv sumthing to tell me.. but it wasnt onli me.. but also most youths who hv complited their spm or stpm.. and i was wondering "i havent even finish anything and im standing up.. no ones gonna notice me anyway.."

"The lady over der.. plz come infront" said the pastor.. i was lyk "lady?? im a gal.. dun think its me.."~~ den he said again.. i was lyk lookin to the left den right.. my frens were lyk.. "hey his calling u la!!" so i nervoursely went up the front... dis is the 1st tym im getting something lyk dis.. something as in lyk an acknowledgement from God maybe..~~.. and yes.. this was wat pastor Frealy said by lifting both my hands.. " first u need to learn lift ur hands up and praise Him.. okay?? and this is want he wants u to kno.. always walk forward and nvr look back.. just trust him and keep walking forward.. and nvr nvr look back.. he's not telling me wats it about.. but he's telling u to just keep walking forward.. "

honestly..i didnt understand it at all at that time.. i was seriusly blur blur ny.. but onli after all the failures.. and test.. and temptations.. i understood those what God was tellin me..

so yea.. im gonna keep walking forward.. praying..praising.. trusting Him most importantly through each step i take.. :D

DOUBTS: 0%
TRUST:100%
FAITH:100%

i'll stand by you 2

The day i post the lyrics of this song..the day i find sumone whose in need of a it.. haha

its kinda sad when sumone cheats on you.. especialy if its your galfren/boyfren and u trust and love them soo much but by the end of the day wondering "y did he/she do it??", "was i a horible boyfren/galfren??", "wat went wrong.??", "do i really know this person to begin with??"despite all of this unanswered question.. by the end of it all.. only one question keeps ringing in ur head.. ''how was i such a fool??"

well.. its didnt happen to me.. but i kno ppl who gone through it.. many .. but recently one.. to one of close guy frend... i am always against online dating.. because ppl can lie about almost everything.. their age.. where dey come from..what kind of ppl dey are.. for example.. a girl may known as a slut or a biatch in the real world.. but she cn appear sweet as an apple pie in facebook.. and a guy maybe all sweet, charming, hansum, "mr right" , or perhaps "the guy" of your dreams.. but he actuly turns out to be a jack ass.. or worst a pedofile

i cnt say u'll never but its hard to find a good frend.. sumone whom u can sincerely trust.. sad but true.. it didnt happen for this friend of mine.. and all i cud say to him was ''I TOLD U SO..''. i kno he is heart broken.. and i cnt imagine what he's goin through.. so i just texted him a few line of the lyrics of "i'll stand by you" .. i must say it did touch his heart.. haha!! Nevertheless.. i kno he'll find it hard to trust another gal in another relationship again.. but time will b the healer.. the world doesnt end just ryt der..afterall.. the first cut is the deepest ryt???

Im grateful at all times dat im a christian.. v have a God who takes care of all our needs.. He guides us to the right path at all times.. and even if we were about to make mistakes .. i mean even major ones.. He is der to stop us from doin so.. he rebukes us! as long as we come to him in prayer.. he sees us through it all.. He'll nvr let us go.. :) i wont say im a perfect person.. i've had dozens of crushes and seriusly liked certain guys.. i remember i always prayed bout it if i were to step into a relationship.. so i've liked the wrong guy.. but God showed me his true colors.. and even when i thought the next one is the one.. but God showed me .. nope.. his not the one my child.. the best part..it saved me from all the troubles..the heartache.. the hurt..the pain..the suffering.. Amen! haha!!

CONCLUSION: whether or not i'll stand by you.. or you'll stand by me..one things for sure.. Gods stands by us all... and .... NO OFFENCE TO THOSE WHO are IN SUPPORT OF ONLINE DATING!! ---PEACE-- :D

I'll Stand By You

*sobs..sobs..*
This song always put me tears each tym i hear it.. m just so touched by the lyrics!
dis song is quite an old song by Gina Glocksen. it has been resung by Girls Aloud.
i still remember the 1st tym i herd it. it was a pretty sad day. i was waiting in d car
for my mum.. it was raining.. and dis song came up on mix fm. honestly dis song was
a situation song man.. haha.. der i was.. just awe struck by the lyrics from its 1st line itself
tears just starting flowing...it was just soo beautiful.. d song i mean.. :)

Lyrics: I'll Stand By You
OH, WHY YOU LOOK SO SAD?
TEARS ARE IN YOUR EYES
COME ON AND COME TO ME NOW
DON'T BE ASHAMED TO CRY
LET ME SEE YOU THROUGH
'CAUSE I'VE SEEN THE DARK SIDE TOO
WHEN THE NIGHT FALLS ON YOU
YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
NOTHING YOU CONFESS
COULD MAKE ME LOVE YOU LESS
I'LL STAND BY YOU
I'LL STAND BY YOU
WON'T LET NOBODY HURT YOU
I'LL STAND BY YOU
SO IF YOU'RE MAD, GET MAD
DON'T HOLD IT ALL INSIDE
COME ON AND TALK TO ME NOW
HEY, WHAT YOU GOT TO HIDE?
I GET ANGRY TOO
WELL I'M A LOT LIKE YOU
WHEN YOU'RE STANDING AT THE CROSSROADS
AND DON'T KNOW WHICH PATH TO CHOOSE
LET ME COME ALONG
'CAUSE EVEN IF YOU'RE WRONG
I'LL STAND BY YOU
I'LL STAND BY YOU
WON'T LET NOBODY HURT YOU
I'LL STAND BY YOU
TAKE ME IN, INTO YOUR DARKEST HOUR
AND I'LL NEVER DESERT YOU
I'LL STAND BY YOU
AND WHEN...
WHEN THE NIGHT FALLS ON YOU, BABY
YOU'RE FEELING ALL ALONE
YOU WON'T BE ON YOUR OWN
I'LL STAND BY YOU
I'LL STAND BY YOU
WON'T LET NOBODY HURT YOU
I'LL STAND BY YOU
TAKE ME IN, INTO YOUR DARKEST HOUR
AND I'LL NEVER DESERT YOU
I'LL STAND BY YOU
I'LL STAND BY YOU
WON'T LET NOBODY HURT YOU
I'LL STAND BY YOU
WON'T LET NOBODY HURT YOU
I'LL STAND BY YOU"

doin wat i can do.. haha

I blogged previously about me gaining weight aite??haha.. was in the bank.. my mom was opening an account for me since i was goin to kampar.. den v were sitting down and i told her.. "ma .. i put on weight edy.." my mom was lyk :"how much weight u put on?" so i said :"4kgs.." and my mom went all bananas on me..!! haha.. her reactions were d funniest..!! and she started lecturing me on how to eat my food and all.. and i was thinking to myself:" hey.. she wudnt hv even known/noticed if i didnt tell her!!" well.. i hAve been reali strict when it came to food since highschool.. i was always scared dat i'll luk fat..as it is im chubby.. recently.. i just dcided to let it go and just eat watever i want freely! and im chubbier ..so..its scarying me ryt now.. coz my sisters wedding is coming and im the bridesmaid.. and nobody wans to see a fat bridesmaid..!! :-/

So.. inspired by THE BIGGEST LOSER(kononnya.. -_-) i decided to loose weight the healthy way.. eat less and exercise more!! But remember ... breakfast is most important.. so hv a heavy breakfast.. but lunch eat less.. and dinner take sum fruits or oats.. and lets not forget exercising aite?? 10minutes of sit ups.. den 10 minutes on leg exercise and den another 10 minutes of push up.. its not the mens push ups but its the push ups for the ladies.. i learnt dis during PJ class back in school.. for men, push up is done on the floor ryt.. its main purpose is for building hand muscles i think.. but for women push ups is done on the wall.. both ur hands are wide spread on the wall and ur body is positioned lyk a right angles triangle from the wall den u just do ur push ups.. well for women its all about toning the arm muscles.. so dat ur arm looks leaner.. as i hv big arm :(hehe.. im tipping alot bout exercise eh?? i hope it helps la.. hehehehehe..

Anyways... been doin dis 30minutes exercise evryday twice.. muscles aching lyk crazy.. so i guess its working..and my body is getting use to it.. hope to get a nice slim and lean body by end of the month!! i seriusly seriusly seriusly hope.. :-S