:) ready to move on :)

well.. after 2 weeks of bitter sweet memories of discussing our future.. finally its dcided dat.. its not gona work.. :( i understand very well d whole situation.. and i'll nvr think of it as a mistake.. d whole process was very wise dats for sure.. well da.. u were d 1st to propose to me.. eventho v cudnt b together.. d care, d understanding and respect i hv for u has only grown deeper.. u are an amazing person.. bein d person dat u are juz makes u an overqualified candidate for a boyfren.. i mean.. knowing dat our religion was goin to b a burden.. u tried to understand and still wanted to work it out.. u thought about our future when others juz thought about d present.. dey didnt understand d fact dat its not dat easy.. yet.. u were wise.. but d "give and take" method juz didnt work out for us.. infact der wasnt even any give and take..im sori on that matter.. i kno it may seem lyk a laughing stock to most la.. but d fact dat both of us tot of the future ..hm.. lyk u said da.. "only both of us can do it..." haha.. hmph... my prayers will always b strongly for u dat u'll have d ryt woman dat u can share ur heart with.. and i pray to God to guard ur heart from getting hurt.. watever happens.. i wanna b part of ur lyf.. dat even i cnt guide u as a partner but i am ever ready to guide u as a friend............ im happy dat i got to know u..

-surreal-

oh boy.. certainly many surreal things are goin in my lyf.. oh well.. 1st of all .. my sister felicia is finaly getting married!!!!!!!!!! OMg.. my future brother in law (alvin)is sooo damn funny!! he's my yetta(brother).. and he called me kutty rat(wonder is its coz of my sarcasm..hehe) biasa la.. he also calls me panjimuttai(contton candy..keke.. noty ar..).. but still ..he called me a rat!! T_T nvrmind.. i'll get him nex tym.. *plans evil scheme..* my chechi(sister) and alvin are soo meant for each other.. cute couple .. haha.. he sings when he thinks of her wei.. damn romantic.. *so jelous* well.. chechi deserves it.. after wat she went thru.. hm.. i cnt imagine dat a month ago she was planning to leave d country..!! chop chop! she aint a refugee o wat la.. shes a nurse and she was planning to go saudi to work..plus she was under alot of pressure at work..personaly i think she was tryin to escape d problem rather den facing it.. i tried countless tyms advising her.. "come on.. v are children of God.. v r overcomers not runners!!" but Im D YoouGest...i doNo ANythinG crap juz keeps coming up.. hais.. but luk.. wasnt i ryt?? even if u wanna run God wudnt let u.. and Waalla!! the ryt guy shows up and work bcomes a better environment.. a.k.a problem settle!! honestly... prayer is power..

coming to me..

oh lord.. hm.. ..finaly i hv sumone who lyks me.. but its lyk soo soo complicated.. religion is an issue... so much burden.. its lyk im pursueing sum sort of forbidden love wei.. *smirks* v hv nothing much in common but rather our goals in lyf are d same.. v are not juz lookin for just a boyfren or a galfren..v r lookin for our lyf partners.. v want it to b D relationship ..i kno dat im still young and all and i hv d whole world to explore.. but how many good guys can v actuly find in da world?? after lykin all d wrong guys who end up wit super hot gal frens.. it realy brought down my confidence.. and den when finaly i laid it all in God's hands..and 'he' comes into my lyf.. its seems soo unreal but meant to be..is dis sum kind of test Lord..?? even if it is... y 'him'?? i don wanna hurt him.. im pretty sure he doesnt either.. yet.. y does it feel soo heavy to let go.. but is he d ONE?? wat does d future holds for us.. ??? wat if d parents go lyk:" if u marry dat christian gal.. u HV TO STEP OVER OUR DEAD BODIES!!" O.O.. hm.. * wondering if ppl still do dat nw..hmm..* i respect him soo much to loose him.. and i feel soo appreciated to b lyked by sumone lyk him.. but i need assurance.. i need promises.. im d gal.. any consequences i'll hv to bear.. but i kno im strong.. i can overcome anything as long i hv d Lords assurance.. i stil need d assurance and promises from "him" to make it work.. if not wats d point of expecting a relationship when der wont b any??? hmph.. for now.. v remain as frens.. v need alot.. i mean aLOt of tym.. tek d tym to kno each other personally in and out..im sori.. and afer dat if he's still willing to go for it.. and i wud gladly go for it too :) .. im prayin.. watever happens....... im strong i'll get through it..but..hm..

ONE thing for sure..none of this i expect it to happen in mY life.. my life la.. dis so so so boring life and time of lydia parveena koren.. sooo cliche and surreal..soo tamil movi-ish..whisch i hate soo much...hm.. so happy for my sister la..

hm..

we met on 628..
we were connected by friendster..
you've reach out to me through a phone call..
and we have been in touch since den..

hurts soo much..

why does it hurt so much to like a person??
hmph.. i forgot.. its becoz u know u cnt have them..

dirty little secret.. watch the VIDEO!!!

Let me know that I've done wrong
When I've known this all along
I go around a time or two
Just to waste my time with you
Tell me all that you've thrown away
Find out games you don't wanna play
You are the only one that needs to know
I'll keep you my dirty little secret (dirty little secret)
Don't tell anyone
Or you'll be just another regret (just another regret)
Hope that you can keep it
My dirty little secret
Who has to know?

when we live such fragile lives
It's the best way we survive
I go around a time or two
Just to waste my time with you
Tell me all that you've thrown away
Find out games you don't wanna play
You are the only one that needs to know
I'll keep you my dirty little secret (dirty little secret)
Don't tell anyone
Or you'll be just another regret (just another regret)
Hope that you can keep it
My dirty little secret
Who has to know?
The way she feels inside (inside)
Those thoughts I can't deny (deny)
These sleeping dogs won't lie (won't lie)
And now I tried to but it's eating me apart
Trace this nightmare
I'll keep you my dirty little secret (dirty little secret)
Don't tell anyone
Or you'll be just another regret (just another regret)
I'll keep you my dirty little secret (dirty little secret)
Don't tell anyone
Or you'll be just another regret (just another regret)
Hope that you can keep it
My dirty little secret
My dirty little secret
My dirty little secret
Who has to know?
Who has to know?

~M3moirS of a bRid3~

Every girl dreams of her big day.. and this is mine^^.. my wedding daze..

*a beautiful white strapless gown with simple floral designs..


**my hair to be pulled up and tied..


*** a nice bouquet of white roses for my hands to hold..


****a beautiful garden/ house wedding..



*****flower girls and bridesmaid wearing different types of gown but with the same colour pallete..



****** a three layered cake without stands..



``` taken place at a day time where everyone can attend..
``` no balloons but pretty white and lavender flowers as decorations

This is my big day.. my wedding day.. :)

you are driving me crazy..

if you're d one dat wud love me and cherish me for who i am.. i wud b happy..

coz..

im tired..but i cnt sleep..

i hungry..but i cnt eat..

i wanna study.. but i cnt concentrate..

i wanna talk to you.. but my lips go numb when i want to..

i wanna think bout u.. but its making my head spin..

honestly..

..YOU'RE DRIVING ME CRAZY..

*as cliche as it sounds.. i tot these were ridiculous crappy emotions from tamil movies..

im an aunty???!!!

i didnt kno i was AUNTY LYDIA until i read mr ulaganayagan a/l muthusamykarupaiya's(vetha) blog.. kakaka.. anyways.. glad to b aunty lydia rather den uncle "goin back home"..kakakaka..
charisha grace,
aunty lydia miss u.. call me soon.. keep in touch..
aunty gif u chocolate...

wuah..wuah.. wuah..

havent blog for quite awhile eh??? actuly been studyin for exam!!!!! i hv a test.. no 2 test dis coming weekend.. MATHS AND PHYSICS!!!! im not studying but mor lyk START- DYING..gaAaaa.. i bloody nervous.. prayed to god to grant me peace and focus.. miraculously felt better and almost dun wit my studies nw.. one mor chapter on physics.. oh well God bless me on the day of my test.. and plz pray for me for those who r following this blog.. hehehe.. and sum fishy "experiment" is going on and im d soo call lab rat it seems... hm... hm..hm...