Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Stumbles


Just had the urge to blog in da midst of preparing for my maths2 test2!! i dunno y in these times i'll hv to have the urge to blog .. -_-.. well.. the urge is there.. so i might as well just do it ^^

feeling abit disturbed lately.. sumtimes i feel dat im torn between two worlds.. one seem real..the half seems fake..im torn between wat i believe and wat i do.. it tough.. but its also easy.. like being a christian.. its easy .. all u hv to do is leave everything and follow Him.. how wonderful it wud be if its easier done then to be said huh?? and dats wat im torn between in.. sometimes i just feel dat im not myself.. i wonder if im bein to hard on myself too.. it makes me sad.. its makes me be afraid.. i kno wat im saying is just hard to understand.. but some myt just get it..

i was looking at juan's blog the other day.. "true love does exists, or i hope so.."
after reading it.. i just blurted out watever dat was in my mind on to her comment box.. but i failed to realise dat i too am like her.. i often wonder dat will i have another.. dat will love me for who i am? look at my heart and not my appearance.. he.. has been in my mind lately.. dunno y.. sumtimes i always felt he was the one.. sometimes when its over.. and sometimes when u think back.. u feel like things cud hv been diffrent if it was like this or like that.. sometimes i dont even kno wether i've fully moved on.. but when u kno somethings are not ryt.. its best to just let it go.. in life ders no gain without sacrificing ryt?? tho.. my heart still skips a beat at the sight of him.......

the tamil movie VTV is a nightmare actuly.. not literaly.. its a good movie.. but each time i watch it.. it just reminds me of how similar the whole story is to my life.. scary but true.. dats y i said wat i meant to say..a nightmare.. i was okay bout it at the beginning.. den it just became annoying to watch.. wonder if gautham vasudev menon went through the same shit in his life.. figures.....and he recently watched it .. dunno y.. but sum how it just got to him.. and he was acting weird.. like he had sumthing to say.. but he just cudnt.. and sometimes i wish he wud .... aih.... it reali bothers me alot...... and thats another part im torn between in....

just had a short prayer.. just to get my heart straight again..mind focused.. but i guess my advice to juan backfires at myself.. haha!! feel like a hypocrite...but yea..just let God's will be done in my life.. keep prayin..keep running the race.. keep persevering in His words .. even if i donno wats best... He knows wat's best.. and im sure He has great plans for me in the future.. a future in which i reali cant wait to step into!! but God.. mek it a future where im atleast happily married .. kekekekekeke!! ^^'

Oceans Will Part

Hearing this song today just touched my heart.. <3
Evryday i long for Jesus... to feel His presence around me.. to hear His voice.. to serve.. to worship and adore Him ... i still hv a long way to go.. need perseverance.. but Jesus... Your name i will NEVER deny!

If my heart has grown cold,
There Your love will unfold;
As You open my eyes to the work of Your hand.
When I'm blind to my way,
There Your Spirit will pray;
As You open my eyes to the work of Your hand,
As You open my eyes to the work of Your hand.

Chorus:
Oceans will part,
nations come
At the whisper of Your call.
Hope will rise,
glory shown,
In my life, Your will be done.

Verse 2:
Present suffering may pass,
Lord, Your mercy will last;
As You open my eyes to the work of Your hand.
And my heart will find praise,
I'll delight in Your way,
As You open my eyes to the work of Your hand,
As You open my eyes to the work of Your hand.



JESUS..YOU OPEN MY EYES TO THE WORKS OF YOUR HANDS..

Saturday, August 14, 2010

Beautiful One

love this song from tim hughes- "Beautiful One" .. its a sunday!! and it feels good to fill ur heart with songs about our best frend, our father in heaven, the one the only.. *drum rolls* ----------> J.C !!! its jesus christ.. J.C just sounds cooler.. heh heh ... wuhooO!!



dedicating it to all God lovers out there! have a wonderful sunday!!! backing up for steven today with tabitha.. ! its a beauty itself to serve God. Amen!

Monday, August 9, 2010

i love u mummy :_(


Hi, Mommy. I'm your baby. You don't know me yet, I'm only a few weeks old. You're going to find out about me soon, though, I promise. Let me tell you some things about me. My name is John, and I've got beautiful brown eyes and black hair. Well, I don't have it yet, but I will when I'm born. I'm going to be your only child, and you'll call me your one and only. I'm going to grow up without a daddy mostly, but we have each other. We'll help each other, and love each other. I want to be a doctor when I grow up.

You found out about me today, Mommy! You were so excited, you couldn't wait to tell everyone. All you could do all day was smile, and life was perfect. You have a beautiful smile, Mommy. It will be the first face I will see in my life, and it will be the best thing I see in my life. I know it already.

Today was the day you told Daddy. You were so excited to tell him about me! ...He wasn't happy, Mommy. He kind of got angry. I don't think that you noticed, but he did. He started to talk about something called wedlock, and money, and bills, and stuff I don't think I understand yet. You were still happy, though, so it was okay. Then he did something scary, Mommy. He hit you. I could feel you fall backward, and your hands flying up to protect me. I was okay... but I was very sad for you. You were crying then, Mommy. That's a sound I don't like. It doesn't make me feel good. It made me cry, too. He said sorry after, and he hugged you again. You forgave him, Mommy, but I'm not sure if I do. It wasn't right. You say he loves you... why would he hurt you? I don't like it, Mommy.

Finally, you can see me! Your stomach is a little bit bigger, and you're so proud of me! You went out with your mommy to buy new clothes, and you were so so so happy. You sing to me, too. You have the most beautiful voice in the whole wide world. When you sing is when I'm happiest. And you talk to me, and I feel safe. So safe. You just wait and see, Mommy. When I am born I will be perfect just for you. I will make you proud, and I will love you with all of my heart.

I can move my hands and feet now, Mommy. I do it because you put your hands on your belly to feel me, and I giggle. You giggle, too. I love you, Mommy.

Daddy came to see you today, Mommy. I got really scared. He was acting funny and he wasn't talking right. He said he didn't want you. I don't know why, but that's what he said. And he hit you again. I got angry, Mommy. When I grow up I promise I won't let you get hurt! I promise to protect you. Daddy is bad. I don't care if you think that he is a good person, I think he's bad. But he hit you, and he said he didn't want us. He doesn't like me. Why doesn't he like me, Mommy?

You didn't talk to me tonight, Mommy. Is everything okay?

It's been three days since you saw Daddy. You haven't talked to me or touched me or anything since that. Don't you still love me, Mommy? I still love you. I think you feel sad. The only time I feel you is when you sleep. You sleep funny, kind of curled up on your side. And you hug me with your arms, and I feel safe and warm again. Why don't you do that when you're awake, any more?

I'm 21 weeks old today, Mommy. Aren't you proud of me? We're going somewhere today, and it's somewhere new. I'm excited. It looks like a hospital, too. I want to be a doctor when I grow up, Mommy. Did I tell you that? I hope you're as excited as I am. I can't wait.

...Mommy, I'm getting scared. Your heart is still beating, but I don't know what you are thinking. The doctor is talking to you. I think something's going to happen soon. I'm really, really, really scared, Mommy. Please tell me you love me. Then I will feel safe again. I love you!

Mommy, what are they doing to me!? It hurts! Please make them stop! It feels bad! Please, Mommy, please please help me! Make them stop!

Don't worry Mommy, I'm safe. I'm in heaven with the angels now. They told me what you did, and they said it's called an abortion.

Why, Mommy? Why did you do it? Don't you love me any more? Why did you get rid of me? I'm really, really, really sorry if I did something wrong, Mommy. I love you, Mommy! I love you with all of my heart. Why don't you love me? What did I do to deserve what they did to me? I want to live, Mommy! Please! It really, really hurts to see you not care about me, and not talk to me. Didn't I love you enough? Please say you'll keep me, Mommy! I want to live smile and watch the clouds and see your face and grow up and be a doctor. I don't want to be here, I want you to love me again! I'm really really really sorry if I did something wrong. I love you!


I love you, Mommy.

Every abortion is just…

One more heart that was stopped.
Two more eyes that will never see.
Two more hands that will never touch.
Two more legs that will never run.
One more mouth that will never speak.

If you’re against abortion, reblog.

Got this from sasi rekha.. this really brought tears to my eyes.. im sure it brings tears to all who reads it.. one thing i want the world to know.. that tho the being inside ur stomach is just wordless creature.. but it has a heart.. a soul.. a mind for itself.. it has feelings.. blood running through its veins.. 10 fingers.. 10 tiny toes.. 2 eyes.. 2 ears.. a nose..a mouth.. just like us.. the only difference is we are out in this world and it is in.. its God's miraculous creation.. a beautiful process involve.. and those who decides to destroy it.. their sinners.. only lookin out to satisfy deir lust.. but not responsible enough to bear its consequences.. respect those who keep their child despite the fears of disappointment it may cause to the people around them.. they are who we call humans NOT monsters...

Friday, August 6, 2010

=)



You'll stumble on your way to the top..
but if you seek God's help and stay with it..
you'll get there...
The truth is..
you're not defeated until your doubts and regrets take the place of your dreams..


-----<3---->

Wednesday, August 4, 2010



hi..!!! bye..!!!
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|

haha.. lol.. just fooling around.. y sooo serius ryt? uukay.. dat was random.. dono wat us wrong with me anyways.. @@ life has been quite stressful and im not sure y am i saying its stressful coz im not feeling the stress of it all..but im just feeling soo tired and lazy! btw i HATE facebook..dont ask me why.. i just hate it.. more like finding sumthing to hate actuly.. its been quite sumtime since i properly wrote anything too .. i kno i've been posting alot of videos..and songs and lyrics.. their just too awesome and i want the world to kno and enjoy it too.. !! plus.. utar is not giving me any breaks..grr.. just read juan post.. UCSI's got 2 weeks off!! lucky girl juan.... ! so jelous.. wish UTAR would do sum kindness to us utarians too.. rather than clamping our bicycles WHEN YOU dont provide enuf bicycle parking space and even make MONEY by charging RM5 out of it!! UTAR got money to expand their buildings by cutting down all the trees..but noo money to just put sum cement on the ground for sum parking space for students?! dah la global warming and UTAR is reali good in making the globe warmer! shame on U!!!

i donno y.. just soo not satisfied with the world im living in! i guess the famous speech evaluation i did for SEVERN SUZUKI "saving the environment" speech for public speakign assignment is getting to me.. love the "girl who silence the world for 5 minutes"! if anyone of u hv the time.. just go on youtube and just check out this 12 yer old girl's speech ya.. dynamic and impactful for such a young girl.

oh yea.. public speaking.. is reali reali fun.. apart from impromtu.. finaly did impromty again last friday after so long... this time evaluated ofcoz.. no more practice! gosh .. i tot i did well.. got my points out reali well.. but unfortunately.. its either i got too comfortable with the class and became whiny and droopy..(mr lionel said dat.. =() i just didnt look like i was giving a speech it seems... didnt hv good posture.. speaking to fast.. bla.. bla.. bla.. haih.. dunt wwanna got further.. well the girl cant help it.. coz she was going back to c her family dat day after 9 weeks!! i guess.. i forgot i was giving a speech thus..screwed it up! haih.. its k.. hv one more chance.. will do it ryt then! ;)

haaaah... how i wish impromtu was like writing.. when u just write.. words just come.. why cant you just talk and words flow too..tho i hv a tendency to talk .. ALOT! but impromtu.. nah..hahaha! not giving up tho! im gonna conquer u my dear impromtu!

hmph...forgot hw good it is to write and express.. feel kinda relieve.. love writing and definately love blogging.. and that is why im gonna give my persuasive speech on blogging this friday!! im gonna persuade my classmates to blog!! ;) ;) yea!

chaoz!

Tuesday, August 3, 2010

L.O.V.E

Now Hollywood wants to make you think they know what love is.
But I'm a tell you what true love is.
Love is not what you see in the movies.
Its not the ecstasy, its not what you see in that scene
you know what I mean? I'm telling you right now, true love is sacrifice.
Love is thinking about others before you think about yourself
Love is selfless not selfish. Love is God and God is love.
Love is when you lay down your life for another
Whether for your brother, your mother, your father or your sister
Its even laying down your life for your enemies,
That's unthinkable, but think about that
Love is true
Think.

Chorus
I'll put you in front of me
So everybody can see
My love, this is my love
I know that I'll be alright
As long as you are my guide
My love, this is my love

Love is patient, love is kind.
It does not envy, it does not boast
It is not proud. Love is not rude, it is not self-seeking
It is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs
You see love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.
It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, it always perseveres
Love never fails. Love is everlasting
Its eternal, it goes on and on, it goes beyond time
Love is the only thing that will last when you die
But ask the question why? Do you have love?

Chorus
I'll put you in front of me
So everybody can see
My love, this is my love
I know that I'll be alright
As long as you are my guide
My love, this is my love

There is no greater love than this than he who lays down his life for his friends
Now are you willing to lay down your life for your friends?
You're probably willing to lay down your life for your mother
your father, or your best friends
But are you willing to lay down your life for even those that hate you?
I'm going to tell you who did that
The definition of love is Jesus Christ. He is love
The nails in his hands, the thorns in his brow
Hanging on a cross for your sin my sins
That is love he died for you and me while we still hated him
That is love
God is true love, and if you don't know this love
Now is the time to know, perfect love

Chorus
I'll put you in front of me
So everybody can see
My love, this is my love
I know that I'll be alright
As long as you are my guide
My love, this is my love

-JAESON MA-