finals and finaly him.. hmm..

oh god.. my finals are starting lyk dis coming friday!!! im freakin out!! im loosing sleep.. im always tellin others to calm but i cnt c myself bein calm nw.. pheeeewww...!!!! been tryin to hv a nap.. feelin tired but cnt sleep.. wish i had sleepin pill or sumthing.. alot of distractions ... 1st him, 2nd my headache, 3rd ders a bunch of lumberjacks outside my apartment cuttin trees!!!!!! imagine the noise from dat tree cutting machine la.. hmp..great .. the trees were useful for shade but nw dey are gone! cnt.. 4th my stomach, 5th him...6th him.. 7th him.. 8th him.. 9th him..10th him!!!! arg!! haiyo..watever la.. anyways.. munching on munchy's muzic muss chunky hazelnut creme sinfully riched in chocolate filled wafers and blogging boring stuff into my blog..

i wonder y does my lyf get soo boring and uninteresting.. i hv sum dude askin me bout my personal lyf and whose dis fella who likes me and all.. and im lyk "wtf dude.. y is it soo surpricing dat sumone lyks me??? (even im surprice.. but still who is he to judge?!)" be happy dat u don lyk me la.. hais..nevertheless.. i was piss with dat.. for people who dono wat im goin thru juz stay out of my personal lyf..

i kno i appear to b boring and all.. and im not all dat happening and all.. but at one point in my lyf i was happy dat sumone loved me for who i was.. and didnt care bout my appearance .. someone who saw through me.. and wanted to b with me despite the odds.. SOMEONE WHO ACTUALLY REALLY LOVED ME!

hm.. .. its been 3 days since we called or message.. i was annoyed dat friday coz he kept callin at dat tym i was soo sleep deprived .. i juz needed sleep to study.. and here he was callin me i kno to atleast hear my voice.. saying dat he loves me and dat he wasnt able to c me as a frend.. all i said was if u cant c me as a frend den juz stop calling me... after a few seconds of pause he finally said ok and hung up.. i kno i was cruel..

im sori.. i truly am.. i kno was rude..i didnt want dis for us.. i kno its not fair .. not fair to u my .......... but its been 3 days.. i dono whether i still deserve to say sori o not.. but i reali miss u.. i wanna hear ur voice again.. i pick up the phone yet i cnt bring myself to call u.. i wanna msg u but i cnt bring myself to do it.. i go into my inbox lookin for ur last msg which says "i m sory!" and ur last call was on saturday 3:54am (which i dint pick up.. fast asleep).. i dono why i have to remember everything in detail.. i reali wana be a frend to u.. but think bout it.. hw cn i b a frend to sumone who doesnt c me as a frend??? wnt it b awkward.. ??? maybe this separation is wat we need.. atleast until our exams r over.. hm.. but plz .. try.. its makin me upset dat im loosing a frend as well..

.......

back to me.. im tired.. in all kinds of mood.. and im hungry.. had maths2 consultation today.. after the consultation ..felt bit confident for maths2.. nw hv to juggle maths1 and phy2.. jz wanna get over with it..

GOOD BLESS U FOR ALL UTAR FRENDS FOR THEIR FINALS!!