NiMroD Kor3N

Do you ever feel like breaking down?
Do you ever feel out of place?
Like somehow you just don't belong
And no one understands you

Do you ever wanna run away?
Do you lock yourself in your room?
With the radio on, turned up so loud
That no one hears you screaming

No you don't know what it's like
When nothing feels alright
You don't know what it's like, to be like me

To be hurt, to feel lost, to be left out in the dark
To be kicked, when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around

To be on the edge of breaking down
When no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life............

simple plan's song are my favorites!!! i remember how much their lyrics relates to a teenagers struggles.. and hardship..and hurt.. and decrimination.. den hearing simple plan's songs wud make u feel so relieved knowing that there are ppl out der just like us...

i was pretty much quite an emo-er growing up.. dats y i loved "welcome to my life".. up till form 3.. dats was where i started acknowledging a person called Jesus :) ..started reading the bible.. knowing the path of life God has prepared for me and all.. and it changed my life forever..

Recently been having soo much doubts about my course.. dunno.. mayb its just studiess getting hard..or maybe its the fact dat ur in degree and dat ur no longer spoon fed is just kicking in.=S .. despite all of dat.. just cant shake off the feeling of uncertainty .. soo many "wat if's" above my head...

one thing about kampar.. ur frens are always around u.. and when u need sumone to talk to.. u kno sumone is der to hear u out.. and yesterday.. i had a long chat with ganz.. it was easy talking to him coz his also doin a course in IT..( the rest of our gang member are in bio) .. and yes.. the conversation jut made me realise alot of thing...

- i doubt myself
- i feel intimidated by the smarty pants around me
- im a tension "patti"
- im soo scared dat im even afraid to open my notes fearing dat i wont understand anything!

and one thing ganz said dat reali opened my eyes.. "study each subject as a subject and not like ur studying for u future because u hv 2more years to go.. and one ur in ur 3rd yer u'd probably wont remember what u studied in ur first two years!!

what he said is actualy true.. and cant help but to laugh at myself for the craps i was goin through with myself.. it was self torture!!

btws ..thanks ganz!!!

i mean wats wrong with me?? lydia.. where hv ur faith gone to??? u prayed about it before u went into this field.. and u know God is guiding u in the right path.. den leave no room for doubts!! have faith.. believe..be still and kno He is God.. and He'll nvr leave us in time of troubles.. and He'll nvr leave us in darkness.. and even if we are in darkness He'll guide us back into the light.. He'll make sure His children will always be the head and not the tail.. and He definately brings the best out of us..!

Proverbs 3:5-6

Trust in the Lord with all ur heart
and lean not on ur own understanding.
in all ur ways acknowlege him
and He will make ur path straight.

.....
its here dat all my doubts and fears just melt away..
i lay my burden down and i look upon Your face
You are my refuge..
You are my sanctuary
Underneaths Your wings..
I rejoice and sing..
For You are my refuge..

- You Are my Refuge-

so keep praying.. and know dat God is there for u.. no doubts.. just pure F-A-I-T-H!

and im tellin all this to myself .. =s :p