Falling Stars

This is such a heartbreaker!! lovin this new song from david archuleta !

Got it from my cuzin brother's fb profile.. hehe..

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when you forget me
and you don't remember my name
not even a memory
somewhere in the back of your brain
i won't be offended
cus i always knew that the day would come and
be not enough to make you stay

you tell me it's not possible
no way that we could break
but nothing is illogical
believe me
like falling stars over your head
we were bound to burn up alive
crashing cars cause
i'll never get over you
cause you are so
beautiful
yeah

the world is turning
and time keeps on lingering on
the sun will be burning
eventually you will be gone
i'll always love you
ohh
believe it or not
baby thats not enough to,
not enough to stop these

falling stars over your head

we were bound to burn up alive
crashing cars
i'll never get over you
never over you cause
you are so
beautiful
yeah

when its all said and done
i'll be just a spec in a galaxy
floating further away by gravity

you tell me its impossible
no way that we can break...
like falling stars....
like crashing cars
like falling stars over your head
we were bound to burn up just like
crashing cars
i'll never get over you
never over you
cause you are
so
beautiful

you are so beautiful
yeah

ugly betty, losses and thoughts

hm.. just finished watching the last season of ugly betty!! i must say.. it was a nice ending.. ^^ liked it alot.. and absolutely loved wilhelmina slater's character! aww.. eventhough she was like a crazy evil person but then i really really enjoyed watching the show mainly for her and also to see how ugly betty turn into the beautiful swan.. =) its alright.. we can see wilhelmina's transition to desperate housewives anyways.. but nothing can beat the WILHELMINA SLATER character.. it was the bomb of the show!! gonna miss it..!

oh well anways.. i recently saw one of my facebook friend's profile.. its a girl whom i knew during foundation.. i got to know that her mother passed away .. it was really sad .. her profile pic was with her mother.. her recent status's were about how much we should actually appreciate our moms when they are alive and all... though i never knew this girl really well.. but im sure we could feel her pain wether or not we have experienced the lost ourselves.......

This, honestly made me miss my mother alot.. i feel the urge to constantly call her to hear her voice.. because to me.. my mother really was there for everything.. i mean come on.. i tell her everything that goes on in my life.. she's always there to take care of me and my sisters well beings..to give us the support.. always worrying.. always praying...she is the footstool of the house.. more so like the head of the house.. she takes care of everything..  she is a wonderful mother whom God has truly blessed my family with..  and i wonder what will i ever do without her..  i cant even imagine it..

i remember we had this conversation.. last week when she was sending me to the ktm station.. well.. some we know was planning to settle down 2yers after loosing his wife.. well my mom asked me what do i think about it.. well obviosly i would say its none of my bussiness.. its the person's life... then i guess its his choice.. but honestly i didnt think it was nessesary to remarry since ur alridi older.. i dont know if im being a bit laid back or something.. but then.. yea..

then my mom was kindda shocked with my answer.. because she doesnt mind the man getting married at all.. and then this ticked me off.. she goes on and says: " what if i die.. im not sayin i will.. but im just sayin.. plz let your father remarry if he ever feels lonely"  and ultimately my answer was a NO! and i just told her :"NO WAY! i could not even possibly think of someone else in your place!  i dont think i could even talk to the woman! and i cant imagine my father doing something like that"  i honestly got soo emotional that my face was red.. and i just told my mom to not ever talk about this again...

even as im writing this.. i do feel like soo old school-ish.. but then.. i've started to feel like this remarry thing has become a trend for the older generation.. im not really sure of what to think of it.. it applies differently for different individual.. its diffrent when u make wrong choices and you marry the wrong person and then you go through a divorce and only then you find the love of your life.. its diffrent when your young and your partner dies.. but then there is someone who is willing to love you and changes your life once again..and its also different when you've grown old togather .. you love each other soo much.. and then one of the spouse passes away.. its only natural to feel lonely.. because the love of your life passed away... but why would you remarry another person so that the loneliness goes away??? isnt just living with the memories of your love one good enough to live on by yourself..?? wont you feel like you are betraying the memories you have had with your love one??

im actually feeling a little naive here.. because im still young.. and i honestly feel like i dont know what im talking about.. and here as i write.. im thinking about the movie The Notebook.. a very passionate movie of a couple.. the intensity of the love they both had .. that it still made the man love his dimensia-ed wife.. everyday reading the notebook to her so that she could atleast recall a little bit of the love they both shared and at the end dying at each others arms.. simply a beautiful story.. ofcourse its the movies.. but i truly believe there are such cases in real live...

But then... this is just what i thought about.. and thought of writing it down.. if u hv an opinion bout this.. feel free to comment.. ^^

God bless.. and Goodnite!

im stuck!

WOW... been some time since i blogged..

oh well.. my last post has been a little dramatic with me wanting to go search for myself and all.. still am.. i just felt like i've lost the focus and i just couldnt blog.. didnt know wat to exactly eventhough there were lots of things going on around me.. like i went for mahes's 21st birthday last saturday... there was this ice-cream eating game and i came in 2nd! haha! then  i actually danced for the very 1st time in a function with my frens! i dont know how much of a fool i looked liked actualy because some of them said i was jumping more than dancing.. =.=' oh well.. who cares.. i had tonnes of fun and  im hoping they're just kidding since im such a shorty .. heh heh heh...=p

anyways.. that wasnt really wat i wanted to blog about.. just thought of writing whatever that came in my mind.. short semester is as miserable as ever.. with all the pilled assignments to finish... midterms and tests to study... feeling there is too much goin on in soo little time.. but i still have ample time to laze around and snooze around.. too much time in hand is a bad thing too.. because it makes you lazy!! and im LAZY!! guess what i've been doin rather than finishing up my assignments?? i was watching movies.. goin on a ugly betty final season marathon.. animes..and im not praying... gosh.. what is going on with me.. ?????

and u know what happens..??  im all moody.. all this negative thoughts keep pouring in.. feel soo lost.. disturbed... unhappy. emo-ish.. headache.. oh my God.. its weird.. its like im forgetting Him.. what He has done for me.. im soo afraid.. and im always reminding myself.. that God.. He's right there waiting for me to hold his hands so He could lift me up again...

This is a very honest opinion.. what we have become is the choices that we make in life.. there's no one to blame but.. urself.. its up to us to make the right choices and live a good live or make the bad choice and live with the consequences.. ofcourse.. we also have the moment where we learn from our mistakes... So indirectly said.. not all bad choices we make are bad choices.. hehe..

oh well.. im in distraught.. just feel like im stuck in some whirlwind and im finding it difficult to get out simply because im STUCK! Jesus.. save me...

God.. why am i the way that i am??

naan siritaal deepavali ..hoi!

haha.. !! yea people !! its deepavali!! Goin home today at 9:44am train! home sweet home babey!  Cant wait for friday.. go for deepavali visiting.. eating those delicious, mouth watering, rich, splendid indian sweet! paal kua.. jelebi.. kesari.. achimuruku.. murukus..!! who can forget the thosais, capatis , idlis and idiappom with chicken curry and sambar!!!  oh my God..! im literally drooling!!

okay enough of the deepavali fever.. 

oh well.. not really in the mood to blog lately.. having alot of things in my mind which i hv yet to let go of.. aLOT!  especially now... i can never understand one thing about myself.. im always envious of somebody...  i donno why.. as much as i try to stay positive.. i really donno if anyone would be envious of me???

Despite having the good friends.. the "past" .. great church friends... the life.. the countless blessings.. why lord..? why do i still feel like im missing out on something? i feel sad.. depressed.. angry.. frustrated sometimes.. because honestly.. i AM A LOW SELF ESTEEMED PERSON =( .. im constantly trying to find something good about myself .. something that i like about myself.. so far.. i honestly dont know..

one day.. i am going to face this world.. one day.. the friends dat i have now wont be there anymore to be there by my side to hear me out though i kno one can overcome all things through Christ Jesus.. but yea.. friends.. they too would have their own life to attend too already.. one day.. the people im with now.. wont be with me now forever.. wat will i do? wat will i do??

Alot of things have happened in my life.. i've seen people change.. for the better or for worst.. as for the worst i can only pray that God will save you.. and i definately hope not to be apart of it.. i've constantly had this desire to just travel.. go out all by myself.. not having the independent college life kind of independency but just totally no strings attached.. the real independency.. all by yourself... to travel.. and work wherever possible.. once you've gained anough money then go on the move again.. kinda reminds me of Christopher Mccandless.. if u dont know who he is.. you should definately go find out.. he's  a legend and a hero.. 

i feel like i just need a break..just go out without telling anyone..  go on a spiritual journey... leaving the world aside.. finding me in Him.. Im sure most would say : "why go on the journey when u can find God while prayin in ur room?" =/ oh well.. i reali dont hv the answer to that.. its just a personal thing.. :)

i always had the desire to bald myself.. like seriusly.. oh nO.. i am no britney spears k.. im totally fine with no psycological problems..its just a once in a life time thing which i reali desire to do.. 

i know my blog has been quite random lately.. not much of an update on a totally vain life which i have...apart from STILL recovering from a very terrible flu, had Pengajian Malaysia xm ,  got total cake facial for Lacness, Chris, and Mahes's birthday eventhough i tried running awaysoo badly.. played cs with kalai and mahes then kalai taught me how to play Left 4 Dead~~!(becoming a gaming pro now) oh well.. i guess my life isnt exactly the epidemic of vain.. but.. 

God..  why am i  the way that i am??  

=/ ...............

Angel ....

As i was sitting on my desk.. this song just flowed into my mind. Angel by Sarah Mclachlan.. such a beautiful.. beautiful ..beautiful song... click on --> Angel  to hear the song =)

Spend all your time waiting

For that second chance

For a break that would make it okay

There’s always one reason

To feel not good enough

And it’s hard at the end of the day

I need some distraction

Oh beautiful release

Memory seeps from my veins

Let me be empty

And weightless and maybe

I’ll find some peace tonight

In the arms of an angel

Fly away from here

From this dark cold hotel room

And the endlessness that you fear

You are pulled from the wreckage

Of your silent reverie

You’re in the arms of the angel

May you find some comfort there

So tired of the straight line

And everywhere you turn

There’s vultures and thieves at your back

And the storm keeps on twisting

You keep on building the lie

That you make up for all that you lack

It don’t make no difference

Escaping one last time

It’s easier to believe in this sweet madness oh

This glorious sadness that brings me to my knees

In the arms of an angel

Fly away from here

From this dark cold hotel room

And the endlessness that you fear

You are pulled from the wreckage

Of your silent reverie

You’re in the arms of the angel

May you find some comfort there

You’re in the arms of the angel

May you find some comfort here