Hellos and Goodbyes

Had Ps Nicky's farewell today.. Thank you Jesus that everything went smoothly just that the service continued on for more than 2 hours rather then the usual one and half hour..

Finalizing the video was just an awesome feeling.. slept at 5am after watching an episode of How I Met Your Mother..hehe.. Sometimes, u just have an awesome idea in your head and u soo badly wanna implement it u just wouldnt mind spending alot of time doing it..even if it means being tired and sleeping late then getting up with dark circles.. ;)

Honestly.. today was pretty sad.. i never felt such an attachment towards a person.. felt really sad.. really really sad.. Ps Nicky.. he was indeed as sharon said "An anchor of joy, love and encouragement". I cant help but feel why didnt i realise this sooner.. i've taken this person for granted and never appreciated it until now that he's leaving us.. 

But also.. I am aware that God has a greater plan for him.. Pursuing his theology masters would only take him further in doing God's works. So would love to bid farewell to him with a joyful heart. =)

One and half years just flew by so fast.. i even thought i would be serving this church till the end when i graduate. Always having this support system going..can't help but to wish there was more time..  I was pretty surpriced when i choked and tears were almost in my eyes when we were all singing "Kenangan Terindah". I could tell that Ps Nicky almost in tears as well.. it was a surprice after all!! hehe!!

Then again, while we all just fellowshipping and taking photoshooting.. oh yes.. i was enjoying myself with Ray's dslr.. its such an awesome camera! learnt more about dslr from Ray today.. and i cant believe i took some pretty awesome shots myself! Owwwkay.. coming back.. while we were all just fellowshipping and photoshooting.. "Oceans will part" starting playing on the deskstop.. all of a sudden i just had a reminences of the whole place.. i saw the keyboard, the drums, the guitar.. and i thought: " we are no longer gonna jam here anymore, spending time with each other and singing God's songs.. fellowshipping.. carecells every thursday.. the pizza night we had.. our very first amazing race.. worship leading..." 

We had a family here.. and i just hope we'll all stick together in Church Of Praise as well as a new family..=)

Well.. Pastor Nicky who loves Nike brand so much.. 

hope YOU always remember us

 with the Nike Arsenal T-shirt we all got you 

and a blessed farewell ..

dear friend and father figure..

My very existence is to prove you people wrong..

"updating"

Im trying to keep my blog updated as how i use to update it.. but it feel rather weird to do so.. because all of a sudden im like "How do u keep updating your blog again??" *scratcher head*. I absolutely feel like one of those who have a blog for fun and not actualy utilise it to the fullest! but i ofcourse i dont.. i want to update it..but...

Just like the other day.. i was typing something into my blog before ganesan and kesh came knocking on my window.. then i proceeded to talk to them.. we were talking  for like 20mins and then i sat down back to continue typing only to not remember what i wanted to talk about in the 1st.. so the post is left hanging.. to be honest i have a few other post which are like that too.. =/

Anyways.. as to keeping an "updated blog"..  My dear friend and Pastor Nicky Ling will be leaving us to pursue his Masters in Theology. He'll be going to very far away Singapore.. =_(  We were pretty bummed up about it when he suddenly dropped the "bomb" on us.. even worst news came when we knew the landlord of the building our church is renting wants to retake the building.. =(

Of course we didnt want pastor to leave.. of course we didnt want the church to close.. of course we prayed.. Apparently.. the MAN up there has a different plan for us.. and as time passed we learnt to accept it.. We will be attending Church Of Praise, Kampar starting July.. our new Home..

Kinda felt like an outsider when we or may when i first went.. but i guess.. we will get use to it.. and I so freaking love the pastor there.. Pastor Elijah.. to hear his powerful message..its truly mind blowing..!!

Moving on, we are going to have a farewell party for Pastor Nicky this coming Sunday. ^^ We are going to have a potluck.. we designed our own piece of scrap for his scrapbook.. and there will be a video presentation(im incharge if this =)... hope to do a mind blowing one ^^ )  and also we are going to perform two songs! "Count On Me" by Bruno darling.. and "Kenangan Terindah" by Samson.

I just hope he tears up! haha.. ow.. i just realised.. tomoro is Sunday! so its not this coming Sunday anymore..!! Okay got to chaw!! have a great idea for the video.. !!

i really feel like..

i really feel like going to a mountain top and scream my lungs out

i really feel like getting a good ol' cup of hot chocolate

i really feel like eating a really delicious well proportioned with  my favourite flavours of Buskin Robins ice cream

i really feel like falling in love

i really feel like holding someone's hand

i really feel like laughing my heart out

i really feel like crying

i really feel like having a nice long deep sleep

i really feel like studying now 

i really feel like hearing God's voice

i really feel like loving someone with all my heart

i really feel like doing something that makes me feel alive

i really feel like dancing

i really feel like singing

i really feel like a hypocrite

i really feel like travelling the world

i really feel like working

i really feel like being special

i really feel like being taller

i really feel like being prettier

honest.. i really feel like doing nothing.. =p

The girl has gone "kuku" so pardon her for her kuku-ness...hehe =p!

Photography ♥

Im totally in love with photography! 

still an amateur and i still take pictures with my E72.. hehe..

not self-taken pictures la.. but real photography..

waiting for my DSLR for 3months now..

its suppose to be my 21st birthday gift from my parents..

i didnt ask for anything else.. i sacrificed my 21st birthday party for it..

still waiting mum.dad..*anticipated face*

Anyways..these are some beautiful innovative photographies..

fish in a lightbulb

Refraction

im glad!

u kno what im just glad today^^
im glad im not fat neither am i thin.. atleast i dun hv anyone calling me anorexic or bulimic.. or
having to be weak or fainting every once in awhile.. but some how rather the guys just dig all of this..=p
im glad that i learn not to give up
im glad that im a strong willed person
im glad that im small but brave
im glad that im wise beyond my age.. atleast i dont make stupid decision that i regret
im glad that i learnt to recognise my God given talent... all glory back to Him ..
im glad to have such wonderful parents..
im glad to have a niece!
im glad to have great sisters.. though one of them is always a pain.. but sisters.. we fight ..but the next moment.. v'd throw ourselves infront of the bus for each other
im glad to have all this wonderful friends God has colored my life with..

im glad that i decided to go to  Church of Praise service today.

eventhough it would mean attending 2 services this week including sundays

on top of it all..

im glad that i kno this amazing person called Jesus Christ.. who has so magnificently light up my once upon a time dark life..

im glad that He light up my dimmed paths

im glad He always picks me up each time i fall ..

im glad He is always there to light the way and also show me the way when all else fails..

im glad learn to lean on Him in times of weakness..

im glad to know that all things are possible in His name

im glad that i dont have to scared of anything because He will give me wisdom to guard my heart and my mind

im glad to know that i can do all things through Him who gives me strength

im glad to know that He wouldnt abandon me in time when i need Him..

and yes Lord im making myself available for your works.. just SURRENDERING to You..

weighed down =)

Im trying to think of sumthing inspiring to write.. but i just cant think of any!! its weird.. i use to have so much to write but then.. now.. i just dont.. its like as if my mind and heart is blocked. 

to be honest.. the past few month have been really tough.. confusing.. unasuring.. and.. SCARY..

the last thing anybody would want is doubt in whatever course their doing.. because its something that is going to effect the rest of your life.. and I HAD THAT DOUBT.. i never thought i have to go through this road..  All of a sudden when i saw what i studied... it felt like if i was dyslexic.. i just couldnt understand.. everything was just jumbled up.. my brain felt constantly clogged as i couln't take in anymore.. stress and pressure settling in.. overly fatigue.. and that time i just wanted to quit and do something easier or im better at.. just leave engineering.. and take a chance at art and design.. sumthing that my brain could comprehend more compared to formula and complicated networks screwing around my brain..

I knew i needed to talk to someone.. but who? felt like God had abandoned me.. because i wasnt getting any assurance from Him.. it was upsetting.. 

back then.. even my parent didnt understand what i was going.. the amount of pressure i was in..i couldnt blame them because money  WAS an issue.. i go to class hoping i could grab on to something..something which i could understand.. but it was just getting tougher and tougher..

However.. deep down .. i know God wouldnt leave me..i found my assurance from a sister from church.. i received a message from her saying 

"You may not know where tomorows road may lead.. but hold on to Gods hands.. "

its such a beautiful verse.. 

and again.. from a christian lecturer.. whom also encouraged me to continue even if i had the interest in it.. and i caught myself thinking.. : "hey.. i didnt go through my foundation years.. working so hard in maths and physics without interest? i knew what i was coming into.. and i made the effort to do well.. ofcourse God's wisdom and understanding was also part of it.. its a testimony of a lifetime.. of how much God had helped me!"  Somehow rather.. i found the courage to continue.. and the lecturer was kind enough to offer me a prayer..

i manage to find my focus before finals.. but coursework marks of a few subjects were quite dissapoiting.. plus finals was really really tough.. and i thought ...this is it.. i have to change course before i suffer down this road.. 

but..as i prayed.. God showed me that i wasnt close to him and that was why i was having all of these fears and doubts.. i continued to pray.. whatever God's will for me.. i would accept it positively.. This time, my parents were soo understanding.. because they understood and they didnt want to see me suffering as well and i honestly felt the love and care they had for me which i selfishly thought it wasnt there.. with much hope they told me if i could just try out another one more semester..

Surprising.. my heart was at peace when i said "yes" .. its true i wasnt close to Him.. its almost like as if.. i prayed onli when i needed Him but then again.. i would let the pressure built on on me.. where was my faith which i used to proudly display..? where was my trust ..? where was my foundation layed on? 

i  refocused.. and i truely thank God for the people in my life.. the lecturer who helped me to sort out my subjects for the next a year and a half .. properly planned my subjects in the future.. i desire to finish it..! and also to conquer it..! God's way is slow but We are made overcomers.. we are weak but we are strong in Him.. we are poor but we are rich in Him.. and  "He will make us the head and not the tail" and because "I can do all things through Christ who strenghtens me.. " =)

Yes.. this was what i went through the pass few months.. just wanted to share..  i truely learnt to "Trust in the Lord with all my heart and lean not on my own understanding.. and to acknowledge Him in all my ways for He will make my path straight" . Please keep me in prayer.. all you wonderful souls out there.. amen..

Ps: hope this was inpiring.. =p  ;-)