... ... realy my best fren???

I duno wat made me write dis title.. well actully i do.. i hv many many many doubts bout is the person i consider as my best fren..reali is my best fren???

wat is a best fren? hw does sumone bcum ur best fren? hw in a way she stands out from among the rest dat u consider her to b the BEST of frens?? i've always tot best frens are lyk sisters.. dey are der for each other thru thick and thin.. always b der to hear out each others problems.. give a shoulder to cry on.. bla ..bla..bla.. but who am i kidding..?? in other words..wat im tryin to say is.. hw did i choose my best fren???? was it bcoz i knew her all my life?? was it becoz we juz randomly bcame best frens?? why is it dat im soo inquisitive over the best frend i hv?? if u realise.. everything juz lies in a question mark.. and when comes down to it.. i juz realise dat the person i tot of as my best frend isnt realy my best fren.. coz shes jus busy bein a "perfect" frend to others.... when im juz blown off to the corner.. mayb not all the tym..but most of the tym..hm..

mayb sum say its jelousy.. but im soo over the jelousy part.. becoz.. v've been togather soo long.. i read her so well.. been der for her when she was upset.. been der for her throughout her regrets and whenever she meks d wrong choices in life.. been der for her to advise her thru thick and thin.. the biggest question comes is ... was she der for me...???

throughout dis one yer.. i've gotten to kno many frens.. sum were thruthful.. sum were nice.. sum were downright mean( i gif these ppl back in da face! ).. sum were useless.. sum were juz fake.. atleast dey were honest.. but.. hw many faces hv u shown me through dis one yer?? haiz..bein the idiotic me.. i juz kept quiet..

am i hurt..?? yes i am.. bcoz i dun even kno wether my frenship mean anything to u.. or watever i've been doin or hv done for u ever rings a bell??..or atleast an appreciation?? hv u ever come to my house to c me when v'r back in our humtown?? ow.. i remember...u came.. but it was nvr for me.. and u kno very well for wat.. hv u ever given me a call?? hv u ever treated me with a smile when im over at ur house..?? all were juz replaced wit ur snobbish character.. u nvr look at me in the eyes whenever im talkin.. imagine hw wud i feel when a tv or a laptop is more important den me?? and worst... 'sorry's onli came after it was asked for..

i kno v hv many difrences.. many.. not even one similarity.. physically and mentally.. perhaps dats the root to everything..

usually ...im not dis stupid to stick around for an unwanted frenship.. or to b frens with sumone who thinks she's so high and mighty.. i've been patient.. always accepting the things dat tek place .. forgiving even when the forgiveness wasnt ask for.. mayb is coz i've known her since v were kids.. i love her soo much not onli as a fren but also a sister.. bcoz her family is lyk a 2nd family to me. dey tek me everywhere as tho im part of their family.. but dis is wat happens.. ppl juz climb over my head.. i dono y im writing dis.. mayb its coz i've jz had enuf.. its reali upsetting..if my frenship is goin to be taken granted of..den y wanna cheat each other by faking to be best of frens..... ryt??

im not askin u to be d perfect fren to me..nor am i desperate for ur frenship..all im askin is atleast b a good fren is enough.. grow up..and humble urselft.. now is dat too much to ask?? the truth of the matter is.. i've learn to seek God thru thick and thin.. God is der to hear me out.. and God is der to gif me a shoulder to cry on.. JESUS became and is my BEST FRIEND :)