love or life..its a battlefield

did i mention dat i went to the historical city last one week?? haha.. guess not.. oh well its not lyk i went to any of those historical venues anyways. Juz went der to meet up wit my cuzin sista and the family.. tHAnk u LOrd for letting my mum agree to go der in the 1st place! my mum is kinda overprotective of me ..hm..juz sumtyms .. especialy the tyms where i try to do my own stunts! hehe.. it started since i was a kid.. the 1st stunt i pulled was when i was 1 plus.. mum brought me to town and she was holding my hand while crossing the road.. and little miss stuntkid lydia parveena koren dcided to let go and run off in d middle of the road all by my self! (proud moments actuly..hehe) anyways..nothing happen la.. my aunt manage to get hold of me.. and the rest u shud kno wat happen la.. kena rotan to the max!! and ofcoz the 19 yer old me now doesnt remember these treasured memories.. not untill my mum herself to me bout it..hehehe.. den next came the motorbike incident where i banged a tree with it.. kakakakaka!!! wat'd u expect i was lerning.. so fearing dat i wud ride a bike my mum wudnt let me stay in any relatives house dat has a motorbike.. gosh..

oh well.. went to melaka itself .. 1st few days.. drama started .. drama as in not only the tamil dramas but also drama in my cuzin sister's love life.. haih.. honestly i dono wats wrong with certain guys in wanting to kill themselves in order not to loose the one dey love???so tamil movie la.. the weird part was he was sooo overprotective and obsessive bout her dat he didnt wanna even c her with another guy and the most unfair part was he cAn hang out with other gals..SEXIST!!! haiyooooo... watevr it is.. sum gals( example: my cuzin sis) will forgif them and yEs give their boyfren the 2nd (god knows number wat chance was this..) chance and settle things.. cliche.. budak budak kecil zaman ini... biasa la.. juz hope dat he wudnt hurt her feelings no more..

speakin of boyfrens..im juz glad i didnt hv obsesive or overprotective..oops.. not dat i hv one ryt.. its far better den having overobsesive ex-es chasing down the current over obsesive boyfren in order to get back the ex galfren.. seriusly its a scary world out der.. be careful people..hm.. grateful dat atleast the person who liked me wasnt lyk dat................... oh wait .. ders nothin to be obsesive bout me anyways.. wether is it beauty(big nose), figure(im a shorty), complexion(im a bit tanned.. ) nevertheless i still believe in the sayin dat "beauty lies only in the eyes of the beholder" but cnt change the fact dat im such a perasan kes sumtyms.. muhahaha..

hm.. hm.. been thinkin alot bout u kno who lately.. not dat i want to.. sumtyms i feel lyk im in denial..i feel lyk i've moved on.. and sumtyms i feel i havent..but each tym i think bout wat happened it juz irritates me.. i get overwhelmed by the feeling of frustration.."y was he such a coward??" coz dats wats keep appearing in my head.. tho i kno he is not la.... i kno i nvr talked bout it.. lyk i said i think im in denial.. i juz dono wat to say bout it.. and im still not gonna talk bout it anyways.. it was nobody's fault.. but juz me ending up makin a fool out of myself.. it ended before it even had a chance to start.. i wonder if it even stood a chance..?? i wonder how it wud have been lyk?? seriusly sayin.. u cant help but to wish : "how nice if life had a REWIND button.." or how I had wish we parted as frens atleast.. but the fact is life DOES NOT have a rewind button and v have no choice but to face it! well.. right or wrong.. i decided to shut myself completely away.. from him dat is..

sumtyms i wander wat God is tryin to do.. okay..okay.. i wnt deny the fact dat i do miss him.. and here i am tryin to avoid any contact with him.. but when i open fb der it is.. new posts bout him(unavoidable).. and its always sumthing serius...oh Lord..wat r u tryin to show me??sumtyms i dono wether Your testing me and sumtyms i wonder if the devil and God is having sum kind of talk bout me up in heaven..u kno.. sumthing lyk Job's story.. but den again I AM NOT Job!! Lord watver it is ur tryin to show me.. im takin it as a sign dat i shud pray for him.. for his health and ur healing over his body and soul.. as juan says "P.U.S.H" pray until sumthings happens.. well.. its not bout US anymore but merely him.. no harm done to pray for a persons healing.. well its all in His hands, its His plans, His time, and His will b done! :)

i guess dis is LiFe :) .. CLicHE again... haizzzz... *giggles..*

love or life.. its a battlefield.. atleast in my point of view it is.. so go get ur armor!! dont u dare surender (=

P.S : i think its one of my longest post.. i think i was blurting out watever i wanted to say for the past few days/ months =S....phew.....