feelin lyk a total screw up in driving :'(

My god.. i dont think i've been so lack of confidence in my lyf up till now! dis morning driving lesson was such a screw up .. i actualy went and hit the pole during my parking! how embarassing can dat be?!! christ.. and dat f**cked up instructor isnt makin me feel any better( why wud he.. i juz wrecked his car..) but.. im stil lerning.. its not fair dat im the onli one whose not getting it right! its sooo nonsensified dat i cant tek it!

i dah la pantang giler ppl scolding me.. but this bloody instructor said i was lembap.. god..lembap.. me?? even my mom nvr called me lembap.. everythin wasnt ryt today.. it was his fault to begin with! which idiot instructor wud message a person 6.30 am in da morning to tell u dat ur having a lesson at 8am?!! let alone called me at 7.3o while i was still sleeping to remind me dat???!!

u wudnt blive it.. i almost cried today.. i just wanted to kill sumbody!!! even now.. as im writing dis!! im soo bloody irritated and angry! hw did others get their licence so easily?? did dey hv to put thru with such pain in the ass as well? oh come on.. i don think it was dat bad for others... probably dey had sweet and patient instructor.. and yea.. wat Is THE DEAL with the one i have anyways???? okay.. i remember him sayin y was he soo strict.. he said.. teenagers these day lyk to pandai pandai.. and they nvr listen to instructions.. dey lyk to pull things off themselves... and dat he wasnt soo strict before but now he is and bla bla bla.. but do i look lyk dat kind of person to yOU!! im an adult( i myself hv doubt in dis one).. but still.. no one called me a lembap before! i kno im slow abit.. but y?? bcoz of u not giving any clear instructions damn it!

as i was driving.. he also called me a robooooOOt :( :( :(.. sayin dat i donno kno hw to do things myself and if i dont get any instruction i cnt do anything.. MY HEART IS SHATERED!!!!! den why d hell u keep givin instructions den? u cud hv juz told me to do it myself.. when u keep giving instructions den obviously i'll hv to follow.. damn ASS!

i kno im ditching alot.. and Lord do forgive me for this.. im angry and i hv to let it out.. im lacking soo much in confidence in driving dat im reali starting to think of quiting.. i wasnt reali prepared initially.. nevertheless i was so excited and eager to master driving but ryt now.. its juz the opposite.. i feel lyk im bein bullied.. emotionaly and verbally abused.. can i juz quIIiit???

sumtyms i wonder why such ppl or such situation get to me soo easily.. honestly i cant b bothered at the moment.. bcoz dat bloody instructor is a total jerk! Lord Jesus.. take control!

PS: public transports are so much better.. and if and i will get my license.. im gonna punch the jerk 1st!