Love Drunk

Though now I’m hungover..
I’ll love you forever ..
Though that Forever is over..
So don’t catch me crying ..
When u Said hello to goodbye..
So dont put me to test..
Coz i still think ur the best..
You have entered my mind..
and now ur stuck there forever..
But can there be another..
That can replace the other.. ??


its christmas and these are the words that came rushing in my mind.. haha.. just thought of writing it before i loose the words.. :D

Wish You a Merry Christmas!!

We Wish You a Merry Christmas

We wish you a Merry Christmas
We wish you a Merry Christmas
We wish you a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.
Good tidings we bring to you and your kin

Good tidings for Christmas and a Happy New Year. ")

im realy am very excited! i sincerely wish all of u friends out there a very blessed CHRISTMAS!

lot of love from:

lydia :)

Joy

Okay.. i was pretty upset in my previous blog.. now im jOYFULL again!!! haha.. i dono y.. sumtimes u just realise.. every cloud has a silver lining.. or perhaps the grass is just greener the other side and yea.. commit evrything in God's hands and everything will be alright! *smile on my face* :D

having a pretty heavy headache actuly ..but i dun care coz im so into the CHRISTMAS FEveR!! wuhuuhhoo!! haha.. im crazy.. house decorations are goin great.. got the garlands.. ornaments ..evrything i wanted for the house for this christmas!! :) :) :) so equals to a very happy lydia!!

i seriusly hope christmas will b goin smoothly.. glad dat mum is finaly in da mood for christmas.. today to help her with 3 cookies!! i cnt imagine hw in da world we're gona pull it off.. hvinng dat christmas is just 2 days away.. but i guess v cnt help.. sis is gettin marrried in 2 weeks time..!!

also glad dat sis is back..now ders soo much help n da house.. and evrything is under control..so much excitement in so little time! hahaha! got to go wrap presents!! chawz!

HAVE A BLESSED CHRISTMAS EVRYBODY!!! AND A HAPPY NEW YEAR!!

upset

Feeling so upset.. i dun even kno wat to do ..or wat to do or wat to say.. i guess God foreseen it comin.. He knew i was goin to be this vulnerable..this upset.. this hurt..

initially i was excited to go Kampar.. i tot i'd nvr hv a problem goin der.. and i didnt kno why the pastor's wife wud say "ur bein vulnerable about the place ur goin" when she prayed for me.. i didnt feel as vulnerable as i am now.. u ask me why?? tell me.. how many of my frens are goin to Kampar.. ?? thinkin dat with these bunch of frens around i'll b okay.. 1st chris .. now vetha... and i realise onli 2 of those who repeated with me are actuly goin Kampar.. one sasi den the other is me..

its not lyk i don hv any fren bak der.. but it hard to get sumone who actuly is close to u.. im pretty complicated.. how many can actuly put up with it ah??? im sure most wud just think im weird.. i sstarting to feel ppl whom i considerd my close frens are bunch of cowards( no offence to any of u who actuly follow my blog) .. who who...who just didnt care bout me.. ukay... im bein selfish here.. i kno..

gosh.. its soo much harder den i thought.. i hv tears in my eyes.. i dono y in da world am i bein soo sensitive.. feel soo hurt.. feel lyk all they ever cared about having in lyf is fun.. is it dat hard to leave a place lyk kl and settle down in a place lyk Kampar??? wat happen to widening ur horizons?? wat happen to priorities in studies?? wat happen to living independently?? wat happen to standing on ur own feet?? wat happen to having a little faith in urself and work hard??? stop giving excuses dat studyin in utar is too hard jut becoz u cnt afford to work ur fuckin ass off!!

wherever u go.. do u think its gonna b easy?? everywhere u go.. wherever u study.. u still hv to work hard to get the good grades!! nothing comes easy.. y cnt ppl understand this simple fact and stop finding an easy way out to reach to the top.. y is it soo hard for ppl to aim high.. reach up as far as u can as ur limit is only the sky.. ?? come on la.. excuses dat u guys gif is too weak for me to accept.. u guys are weak....

remember.. taking the easy way out is never the solution.. ppl cn hv many reasons to leave utar... but the reasons y'll gif.. is.. crap.. "dey purposely fail indians la.. dey'll also fail me la.. 300 hundrend student were drop put of utar for not getting past 2.0 for deir courses.. and 200 hundred were indians..." let me tell u.. even in foundation in science.. how many of us indians failed??? all i kno is majority is indians.. honestly.. u cn tell the difrence between whose the hardworking one.. and who r the non hardworking one.. ders no such shit as "purposely failing" a student.. but on high side.. think bout it.. werent der also indians who passed foudation and went off to degree??? why?? simple..becoz.. dey were hardworking.. and some myt hv just gotten lucky.. i don c any of them complaining apart from the systems.. and either den that..i dont c y shud u??

i kno i ws one of the unlucky ones who failed certain subjects.. and.. i was also one of those who wasnt afraid to admit she's a repeat student.. while repeating.. i realise the difrence from the effort i put in before and when i was repeating.. i worked but ass off and for me dats wat matterd most at dat tym.. and the outcome?? i scored great results!! wat do u say bout dat??? my studies are a living prove and a living testimony for all of u out der! so don gif me shit reasons lyk utar is too hard.. or deir bein racist or deir practicing quota system!

i guess wat i say probably wnt matter to anyone.. go ahead.. do watever u want.. but if u don put in effort in watever u do.. ur gonna b left in da same dump u thought u have left no matter where u go.. remember.. ders no shortcuts in life.. its all about hw u deal with the failures and hardship dat'll mek u the person u wanna aaCTUALLy b in life.. as for me.. :

"Work hard and pray.. and let God take care of the rest"

dont b afraid.. but have faith in God.. why be afraid when u hv a great and mighty God at your side..???Dont doubt urself.. because when u doubt urself.. u'll hv doubts in ur prayer.. He will take care of all the obstacles.hurdles..the unfairness of this society.. cheaters..liers.. backstabbers.. hooks and crooks..!! and DONT blame God for ur irresponsibility and selfishness to indulge urself in the temptations of the world even when u kno u hv priorities..!! ~_~

Christmas is All Around - II

Christmas is All Around Lyrics: "
I feel it in my fingers,
I feel it in my toes,
Christmas is all around me,
and so the feeling grows

It's written in the wind,
It's everywhere I go,
So if you really love Christmas,
C'mon and let it snow?

You know I love Christmas
I always will
My mind's made up
The way that I feel
There's no beginning
There'll be no end
Cuz on Christmas,
You can depend

You gave your presents to me
And I gave mine to you
I need Santa beside me
In everything I do

You know I love Christmas
I always will
My mind's made up
The way that I feel
There's no beginning
There'll be no end
Cuz on Christmas,
You can depend

Cuz on Christmas,
You can depend

It's written on the wind
It's everywhere I go
So if you really love me
C'mon and let it snow?
C'mon and let it snow?
So if you really love
C'mon and let it
If you really love me
C'mon and let it
Now if you really love me
C'mon and let it snow?"

christmas is all around..

lovin my blog's song ryt now.. since xmas is around the corner.. oh no.. its dis coming fridAYY!!!! anyways.. "christmas s all around" is d current song playing on my blog.. i gt it from the movie "love actuly" . the song is actuly an altered version of ''love is all around" ..hehe... the song is funy anyways.. hear it and enjoy it!!

anyways.. christmas will kinda b simple dis yer..lyk i said in my previous blogs.. the wedding fever is soo much greater den christmas fever.. eventho v wanted christmas to b simple.. v actuly did quite alot changes in our house... v repainted the front porch.. the back.. den bought new ornaments for the christmas tree.. bought a garland for the porch and lights.. (actuly nt enuf.. tryin o persuade my currently paranoid mom.. its gonna b tough without a fyt.. lol..) ..haih.. i cnt blame her actuly.. bcoz my parents hv spent so much on the wedding itself!! eventho i kno dat.. im still angry... its just not fair.. and i aso dat wat im sayin now is aso not fair.. im angry coz..i'll hv all dis amazing ideas on hw to decorate the house.. but im unable to execute any of it and evem if i cud execute it ..onli half of it is actuly executed... its always either coz of money... or MOM.. sometimes she cn b soo nice.. sometimes she cn b such a pain! gosh.. i kno i sound spoilt.. atleast let me ...in my blog ... heh heh .. hm.. =_=

mums...

mothers.. sumtimes dey can b soo ridiculous... dat it pisses me off!!
y dey hv to act lyk dey kno evrything.. ??
nothing is a "yes" and everything is a "no"
hate it the most when sumone treats me lyk a typical teenager..!
damn..

xmas spirit.. slowly creepin in..

hOLA! HAHA.. finaly sumhow rather got the christmas spirit to enter me.. hehe.. been feelin soo dead for the past one week!! i kno v shud hv started erlier.. but the shoppin for decorations came late tho..lol.. cnt help it if a wedding is on the way.. no wonder the xmas fever isnt felt.. bcoz d wedding fever is too great!!!

oh well... u wudnt belief i painted the front porch!!! its always been plain white .. so decided to hv colors on it for once.. we initially hired a man to paint the house .. but since the man was doin it all alone.. so i tot i chip in a little.. ( little miss samaritan.. che wah..poyohnya..).. kekekeke.. anyways.. it was fun.. got my fav 3/4 jean all painted as well.. since i didnt tek it off erlier.. it left a stain.. :) the man is a very humble man from sri lanka.. he's a church worker by the way.. he's name is George..mum paid him 300 bucks.. wish my mum paid me too!! ~~

nyways.. i was suppose to put up the christmas tree.. and here i am blogging!!! it's been 3 days since i last blogged so i was missing her..!! anyways.. g2g.. chi ya!! jesus loves u.. keep the christmas spirit goin!!!

the review: NEW MOON

omg..omg.. omg.. i finally watched new moon!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! yuhooooo!! i watched yesterday at Jusco Seremban at 11.30am with my bff stephanie( twilight author's name is also stephanie..kiki..)in hall 1 seat J4 and J5!! gosh.. u myt b thinking wat the hell is wrong with this gurl..?? NEW MOON came out lyk ages agoo .. but i dont care because im lyk super excited to blog about it!! * go lydia..go lydia.. *

"AND SO THE LION FELL IN LOVE WITH THE LAMB.. WHAT A STUPID LAMB, WHAT A SICK MASOCHISTIC LION"

These were the words dat drew to read twilight in the 1st place!! arent the words soo beautiful and powerful not to mention deep???!! haha..

so yea ..coming to the movie?? i dont understand why people didnt lyk it?? i thought it was soo good infact i think it gets better each series!! from the graphics to the the vampire and to the werewolves..evrything was good.. this was one movie which always makes me feel so deeply connected to each character... plus it was rated 1st in the hollywood boxoffice for 2 weeks!! before it got bashed by sandra bullock's new movie..heh heh.

THE WOLVES:
i think everyone wud agree dat the wolves were super hot!! deir tall builds and good looks.. not to mention deir delicius 6 packs!! jacob black was soo good lookin.. he's more matured and tall build.. looks so much stronger in his role in NEW MOON.. we usualy see werewolves as wild and vicious creature..but in this book/movie... im glad to c a friendlier side..

THE VAMPIRES:
Honestly im more of a vampire lover...i love their paleness..their cold mysterius eyes.. deir skinny but muscular body.. heeeehhh... but ya.. cudnt agree more dat robert pattinson was not so good lookin in New Moon..too much make up!! but the Vultoris were pretty scary.. truly the origins of vampires.. merciless bloodsuckers.. i like Alice Cullen sayin dat The Cullens are the freaks of the vampire world.. and i reali liked Dakota Fanning's acting as well..tho it was brief.. wish to see more of it..

the ending was bitter sweet.. bitter for Jacob as Bella chooses Edward "..it always has been him"(bella says of edward).. and Sweet one for Edward as he proposes to Bella!!!

overall..its okay.. not too over the top bout it but didnt think it was stupid or boring.. i really liked it.. i guess.. ppl just focused on the action rather den the romance part of the story.. so as they watch the movie their high expectations were cut low.. dey shud understand 1st and foremost.. dey shudnt compare twilight to Underworld/ van Helsing/ vampire diaries / trueblood.. the story has a balance between romance and action.. every action and reaction is deeply thought of.. so dig deep and u'll find twilight a pretty intresting movie :)

che wah.. im talkin lyk one bigshot movie critic ny.. anyways.. its just my opinion about the movie...

chaoz!!

Through It All

this song has been on my mind for a few days now.. so just thought of posting it ;)

Hillsong United Through It All
You are forever in my life
You see me through the seasons
Cover me with Your hand
And lead me in Your righteousness

And I look to You
And I wait on You

I'll sing to You Lord
A hymn of Love
For Your faithfulness to me
I'm carried in everlasting arms
You'll never let me go
Through it all

You are forever in my life
You see me through the seasons
Cover me with Your hand
And lead me in Your righteousness

And I look to You
And I wait on You

I'll sing to You Lord
A hymn of Love
For Your faithfulness to me
I'm carried in everlasting arms
You'll never let me go

I'll sing to You Lord
A hymn of Love
For Your faithfulness to me
I'm carried in everlasting arms
You'll never let me go
Through it all

Everlasting Father, I love You
Ever living Savior, I love You

Everlasting Father, I love You
Ever living Savior, I love You

I'll sing to You Lord
A hymn of Love
For Your faithfulness to me
I'm carried in everlasting arms
You'll never let me go
Through it all"

T_T

*offs music player..*

I went for driving and i wish i cud b proud but only to sadly say that i FAILED~!!

Gosh... i just dono wat to say.. i do feel a little ashame..oops.. did i say a little.. i mean ALOT!

i felt lyk crying so badly.. but i was angry at the same time and the tears wudnt flow..

i felt angry.. at the JPJ fella.. at the road.. at the cars on the road.. and at myself!

i wudnt lie.. i was angry at God too.. i felt He cheated me.... but i kno dats not true at the same time..

just that... i prayed soo hard.. just felt i deserve better..... :(

Dear Lord.. why do i always have to go through this?? im reali sad u kno.. i feel lyk a total loser.. okay dat not true.. i dont feel lyk a loser.. im just sad.. but hw many more failure will you put me through ar?? i feel lyk im constantly on a repeating sphree.. i fail den repeat.... fail den repeat.. same in my studies..and its the same now.. haih..

okay.. just a reminder.. dis is not me talking.. its the sad, frustrated,exhausted, sick and tired and angered me talking.. just hope i'll get over it... not hope.. i kno i'll get over it.. so Lord .. keep me in mind..

Broken-Hearted Girl

No particular reason .. just loving the lyrics.. :)

Beyonce - Broken-Hearted Girl Lyrics:
You're everything I thought you never were
and nothing like I thought you could have been
but still, you live inside of me, so tell me how is that?
You're the only one I wish I could forget
the only one I love to not forgive
and though you break my heart, you're the only one
and though there are times when I hate you
'cause i cant erase
the times that you hurt me and put tears on my face
and even now, while i hate you, it pains me to say
I know I'll be there at the end of the day

*I don't wanna be without you, babe
I don't want a broken heart
Don't wanna take a breath without you, babe
I don't wanna play that part
I know that I love you, but let me just say
I don't wanna love you in no kind of way, no no
I don't want a broken heart
I don't wanna play the broken-hearted girl
No, no, no broken-hearted girl

There's something that I feel I need to say
But up til' now I've always been afraid that you would never come around
And still I wanna put this out

You say you've got the most respect for me
But, sometimes I feel you're not deserving of me
And still, you're in my heart
But you're the only one
And yes, there are times when I hate you, but I don't complain
'Cause I've been afraid that you would walk away
Oh, but now I don't hate you
I'm happy to say
That I will be there at the end of the day

*

Now I'm at a place I thought I'd never be, ooh
I'm living in a world that's all about you and me, yeah
Ain't gotta be afraid, my broken heart is free to spread my wings and fly away, away with you....

I don't wanna be without my baby
I don't want a broken heart
Don't wanna take a breath without my baby
I don't wanna play that part
I know that I love you, but let me just say
I don't wanna love you in no kind of way, no no
I don't want a broken heart
I don't wanna play the broken-hearted girl
No, no, no broken-hearted girl
Broken-hearted girl
No broken-hearted girl"

love, from ur Father in heaven

I went to church last saturday( churches are mostly saturday here ^^).. anyway.. yea.. i went to church last saturday.. thank God it was Pastor Ambrose.. its been so long since i herd him preach.. and when he preaches.. pheew.. does it make an impact..!!

So yea, coming to the point.. i think most shud kno by now that i'll be goin to Kampar next yer January for my degree in Computer Engineering.. well.. my course computer engineering isnt an engineering course but more of information technology course.. if i say im doin computer engineering not many will give a positive feedback.. dat obviously saddens me.. ppl luk at me as if im not gonna get a high paid job or something.. >:( .. but computer engineering is not lyk dat.. it has such a wide range of work becoz it covers almost all of wat we need to know bout the cyber world! i think dat the percentage for me to get a job is definately high depending which part of the field im good in.. but still..its not dat i dont get a positive feedback.. i do.. but.. very little.. so in away.. im scared.. vulnerable..

i prayed bout it before choosing the course.. u kNo dat God is der.. sometimes when u dont get the ryt feedback.. u just cnt help but to doubt.. it makes me angry knowing that ppl judge the course i do without knowing what the course really is all about.. all in all it just makes me feel soo upset.. now dat im goin all the way to kampar is kinda freakin me out a little..

so towards the end of the service... the pastor told us to find a partner.. i ended up with the pastor's wife.. heh..heh.. he then told us to strech out our both our hands and put it facing ur both of ur partner's hands.. before dat he said God has giving both ur hands power heal.. den he said.. i want u to now just close ur eyes and pray.. see what God wants u to tell ur partner bout themselves.. i just did what he told... i didnt expect to c anything anyways.... true enough i DIDNT.. keke.. but the pastor's wife did.. O_O

she whispered into my ears and said : God sees vulnerableness in you... dat u feel vulnerable to the place you're goin.. and He wants u to kno dat He's there for u through each step u take.. just trust in Him..

den she looked at me and said: "i kno u dont have anything to say to me.. its okay.. "den she gave me a warm smile and a hug..and squeeze my hands and said : "trust Him Lydia.. trust Him!!"

that kinda gave me the motivation and also the boost of confidence dat i needed.. and my faith is restored.. and so it also brings me back to when i was form 5 preparing for spm.. and also not knowing wat career i'll b choosing.. it was beginning of the year.. there was a prophetic seminar for 2days in seremban evangel.. on the second day .. dey had a combine adult and youth service.. it was conducted by a south african pastor named Freaky Baker(i kno .. he has a funny name..hehe) .. so he started off by sayin God is gonna speak to us today.. He's gonna phophesy.. and he's gonna heal.. he started with the youths: " who feels unsure about the future.. bout the which path to choose now dat u've finish with ur studies....etc.... " hearing wat he said.. just made wanna stand up.. kept my fingers crossed hoping dat God wud hv sumthing to tell me.. but it wasnt onli me.. but also most youths who hv complited their spm or stpm.. and i was wondering "i havent even finish anything and im standing up.. no ones gonna notice me anyway.."

"The lady over der.. plz come infront" said the pastor.. i was lyk "lady?? im a gal.. dun think its me.."~~ den he said again.. i was lyk lookin to the left den right.. my frens were lyk.. "hey his calling u la!!" so i nervoursely went up the front... dis is the 1st tym im getting something lyk dis.. something as in lyk an acknowledgement from God maybe..~~.. and yes.. this was wat pastor Frealy said by lifting both my hands.. " first u need to learn lift ur hands up and praise Him.. okay?? and this is want he wants u to kno.. always walk forward and nvr look back.. just trust him and keep walking forward.. and nvr nvr look back.. he's not telling me wats it about.. but he's telling u to just keep walking forward.. "

honestly..i didnt understand it at all at that time.. i was seriusly blur blur ny.. but onli after all the failures.. and test.. and temptations.. i understood those what God was tellin me..

so yea.. im gonna keep walking forward.. praying..praising.. trusting Him most importantly through each step i take.. :D

DOUBTS: 0%
TRUST:100%
FAITH:100%

i'll stand by you 2

The day i post the lyrics of this song..the day i find sumone whose in need of a it.. haha

its kinda sad when sumone cheats on you.. especialy if its your galfren/boyfren and u trust and love them soo much but by the end of the day wondering "y did he/she do it??", "was i a horible boyfren/galfren??", "wat went wrong.??", "do i really know this person to begin with??"despite all of this unanswered question.. by the end of it all.. only one question keeps ringing in ur head.. ''how was i such a fool??"

well.. its didnt happen to me.. but i kno ppl who gone through it.. many .. but recently one.. to one of close guy frend... i am always against online dating.. because ppl can lie about almost everything.. their age.. where dey come from..what kind of ppl dey are.. for example.. a girl may known as a slut or a biatch in the real world.. but she cn appear sweet as an apple pie in facebook.. and a guy maybe all sweet, charming, hansum, "mr right" , or perhaps "the guy" of your dreams.. but he actuly turns out to be a jack ass.. or worst a pedofile

i cnt say u'll never but its hard to find a good frend.. sumone whom u can sincerely trust.. sad but true.. it didnt happen for this friend of mine.. and all i cud say to him was ''I TOLD U SO..''. i kno he is heart broken.. and i cnt imagine what he's goin through.. so i just texted him a few line of the lyrics of "i'll stand by you" .. i must say it did touch his heart.. haha!! Nevertheless.. i kno he'll find it hard to trust another gal in another relationship again.. but time will b the healer.. the world doesnt end just ryt der..afterall.. the first cut is the deepest ryt???

Im grateful at all times dat im a christian.. v have a God who takes care of all our needs.. He guides us to the right path at all times.. and even if we were about to make mistakes .. i mean even major ones.. He is der to stop us from doin so.. he rebukes us! as long as we come to him in prayer.. he sees us through it all.. He'll nvr let us go.. :) i wont say im a perfect person.. i've had dozens of crushes and seriusly liked certain guys.. i remember i always prayed bout it if i were to step into a relationship.. so i've liked the wrong guy.. but God showed me his true colors.. and even when i thought the next one is the one.. but God showed me .. nope.. his not the one my child.. the best part..it saved me from all the troubles..the heartache.. the hurt..the pain..the suffering.. Amen! haha!!

CONCLUSION: whether or not i'll stand by you.. or you'll stand by me..one things for sure.. Gods stands by us all... and .... NO OFFENCE TO THOSE WHO are IN SUPPORT OF ONLINE DATING!! ---PEACE-- :D

I'll Stand By You

*sobs..sobs..*
This song always put me tears each tym i hear it.. m just so touched by the lyrics!
dis song is quite an old song by Gina Glocksen. it has been resung by Girls Aloud.
i still remember the 1st tym i herd it. it was a pretty sad day. i was waiting in d car
for my mum.. it was raining.. and dis song came up on mix fm. honestly dis song was
a situation song man.. haha.. der i was.. just awe struck by the lyrics from its 1st line itself
tears just starting flowing...it was just soo beautiful.. d song i mean.. :)

Lyrics: I'll Stand By You
OH, WHY YOU LOOK SO SAD?
TEARS ARE IN YOUR EYES
COME ON AND COME TO ME NOW
DON'T BE ASHAMED TO CRY
LET ME SEE YOU THROUGH
'CAUSE I'VE SEEN THE DARK SIDE TOO
WHEN THE NIGHT FALLS ON YOU
YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
NOTHING YOU CONFESS
COULD MAKE ME LOVE YOU LESS
I'LL STAND BY YOU
I'LL STAND BY YOU
WON'T LET NOBODY HURT YOU
I'LL STAND BY YOU
SO IF YOU'RE MAD, GET MAD
DON'T HOLD IT ALL INSIDE
COME ON AND TALK TO ME NOW
HEY, WHAT YOU GOT TO HIDE?
I GET ANGRY TOO
WELL I'M A LOT LIKE YOU
WHEN YOU'RE STANDING AT THE CROSSROADS
AND DON'T KNOW WHICH PATH TO CHOOSE
LET ME COME ALONG
'CAUSE EVEN IF YOU'RE WRONG
I'LL STAND BY YOU
I'LL STAND BY YOU
WON'T LET NOBODY HURT YOU
I'LL STAND BY YOU
TAKE ME IN, INTO YOUR DARKEST HOUR
AND I'LL NEVER DESERT YOU
I'LL STAND BY YOU
AND WHEN...
WHEN THE NIGHT FALLS ON YOU, BABY
YOU'RE FEELING ALL ALONE
YOU WON'T BE ON YOUR OWN
I'LL STAND BY YOU
I'LL STAND BY YOU
WON'T LET NOBODY HURT YOU
I'LL STAND BY YOU
TAKE ME IN, INTO YOUR DARKEST HOUR
AND I'LL NEVER DESERT YOU
I'LL STAND BY YOU
I'LL STAND BY YOU
WON'T LET NOBODY HURT YOU
I'LL STAND BY YOU
WON'T LET NOBODY HURT YOU
I'LL STAND BY YOU"

doin wat i can do.. haha

I blogged previously about me gaining weight aite??haha.. was in the bank.. my mom was opening an account for me since i was goin to kampar.. den v were sitting down and i told her.. "ma .. i put on weight edy.." my mom was lyk :"how much weight u put on?" so i said :"4kgs.." and my mom went all bananas on me..!! haha.. her reactions were d funniest..!! and she started lecturing me on how to eat my food and all.. and i was thinking to myself:" hey.. she wudnt hv even known/noticed if i didnt tell her!!" well.. i hAve been reali strict when it came to food since highschool.. i was always scared dat i'll luk fat..as it is im chubby.. recently.. i just dcided to let it go and just eat watever i want freely! and im chubbier ..so..its scarying me ryt now.. coz my sisters wedding is coming and im the bridesmaid.. and nobody wans to see a fat bridesmaid..!! :-/

So.. inspired by THE BIGGEST LOSER(kononnya.. -_-) i decided to loose weight the healthy way.. eat less and exercise more!! But remember ... breakfast is most important.. so hv a heavy breakfast.. but lunch eat less.. and dinner take sum fruits or oats.. and lets not forget exercising aite?? 10minutes of sit ups.. den 10 minutes on leg exercise and den another 10 minutes of push up.. its not the mens push ups but its the push ups for the ladies.. i learnt dis during PJ class back in school.. for men, push up is done on the floor ryt.. its main purpose is for building hand muscles i think.. but for women push ups is done on the wall.. both ur hands are wide spread on the wall and ur body is positioned lyk a right angles triangle from the wall den u just do ur push ups.. well for women its all about toning the arm muscles.. so dat ur arm looks leaner.. as i hv big arm :(hehe.. im tipping alot bout exercise eh?? i hope it helps la.. hehehehehe..

Anyways... been doin dis 30minutes exercise evryday twice.. muscles aching lyk crazy.. so i guess its working..and my body is getting use to it.. hope to get a nice slim and lean body by end of the month!! i seriusly seriusly seriusly hope.. :-S

wordless towards life

Its so nice to blog with wireless service nearby..anywhere anytym.. juz hv to tek my laptop and juz start blogging...haha.. oh yes iim bloggin with my laptop now..!! feels kinda lyk carrie bradshaw frm "sex and the city". not dat she blogs or watever juz the she and her laptop part.. u wud get wat i mean if u watch the show if not it wud all b an utter nonsense to u..kiki..

Anyways.. dat wasnt reali wat i wanted to talk about. Well.. i read one of juan's post recently.. in away she is so much lyk me.. especialy the not the "socialising" type part and also the part where "i wud rather spend the day reading novels than clubbin" part too.. haha.. (hope u don mind me talkin bout u juan...) but i think she has a great group of ppl surrouding her... and she sooO talented .. :)

Oh well back to me.. hehe.. yea sumtyms i find myself boring.. (probably one of the reasons why i don hv a boyfren.. kakaka..).. feeling kinda insecure as well.. and dats most prOBAbly coz im not prayin as hard as im suppose to.. i find it hard to pray at times.. its lyk i pray one day then another i dont. I dont get myself either.. and its getting reali frustrating.. im feel lyk a wave in the sea.. soo unstable.. den one day just cause a tsunami! O_O haih.. when am i goin o reach a firm ground?? another thing is . its been soo long since i had a long break lyk dis.. and i juz donno wat to do with all the free time!! lol.. i kno watever im sayin doesnt mek any sense ryt?? plus im sure most wud die for a holiday lyk this.. gosh.. seriusly im not so keen on it..okay in a way..wt im trying to say isim soo bored dat i dont feel lyk prayin!! Everything is just lyk a routine.. ! im sick of it! im desperate for sumthing new to happen.. mayb i were to be a kl citizen probably it wud hv been a diffrent matter.. midvaley nearby(cn go watch movie and bowling!)..POPULAR and MPH nearby(cn go grab sum novels.).. den i can meet up with my peeps once in a while.. ^^'.. i kno wt u'd b thinking la.. "wat?? dats it?? i tot whEn shE meNtiOned Kl she'd probaBly b thinkIng Of ClubbinG..! " ..u got dat WRONG! lyk i said.. "im boring" ..lolz..! haha...but..... i wud reali wanna go clubbing tho.. BUT..only with the right group of ppl..until den.. clubbing wud probably just be at the bottom of my list..

Right now.. i just cnt wait to get to kampar and get started with my dgree!! i cnt keep stayin in the house lyk dis.. eating..sleeping.. den eating... den watch tv.. im gaining weight..:-/ .. lyk seriusly.. im GAINING WEIGHT wei..!! its just scary.. i remember telling my mum yester day.. "i feel so fat and depressed".. and i thought i erased the word "depress" from MY dictionary along tym ago.. and here i am again using d it.. Honestly cnt blame anyone.. i shud hv planned my holidays well.. nevertheLess i KNOW i need to stay focus! this holiday became one big huge ball of test for me.. so i must b firm i must be steady! Cnt b lyk a wave lydia.. must b lyk a calm sea.. for as long as u hv Jesus.. u have ur firm foundation.. which reminds me of a verse from a song..

"Jesus your my firm foundation.. i kno i can stand secure.."

haha.. now as im writing.. i sense a smile on my face.. i think i got the answer i needed from God..

my testimony..

1st an foremost.. i wud lyk to testify sumthing dat had happen to me.. remember when i blogged about drving??? hw it sucked for me??? hw the stupid instructor gave me hard tym?!! it pisses me off by even thinking bout it.. haihs.. but ever since dat i've been reali prayin hard.. commited my drivinn into the lord's holy hands.. i even did notes of the procedures for goin up the hill, the parking, and the 3 pointers and slipped insyd my bible.. i kno wat ur thinking.. *dis gal is paranoid..* and yea mayb i am but soo wat?! the terror i faced onli i kno wat its lyk.. :_(

after dat horified incident.. i juz totaly needed a tym off of driving.. cudnt stand the intuctors guts for another week more!! i tuk a break for a week.. den i expected d next week he'd call me.. but no call.. pheww.. but during my tym off.. i prayed hard.. prayed to the Lord all mighty to b my guide and strength.. and most importantly i prayed for Him to take over the wheels of the car :). apart from dat i kept visualising everything in my head.. from the routes i'll b driving on.. the up the hill, parking and 3 pointer procedures.. to balancing the 3 paddles.. everything was just visualize in my head.. and i nvr even practise on an actual car all these tym.. dat kinda worried me.....

after 2 weeks.. finaly the call came.. the moment was not sure awaiting or dreading came.. :-/ but watever it is once i put down the phone.. i was literally freaking out!!!!!!! i had cold feet..cold hand.. sweaty palms.. nervous.. nauseated.. all the symptoms of anxiety(from management studies) !! i was soo restless and i kept walking here and there with a super drained face.. i think everyone in the family knew y my face was lyk dat.. my granny came up to me ..she hold my hands and said:" u prayed bout it ryt..?? so dun worry.. God is with u." It gave me a little comfort.. but it wasnt enuf. So i went over to a frens place opposite my house.. thinking it myt clear my head if i talk to sumone.. but no.. i was juz feeling very uncomfortable.. i came back home.. went back into my room.. i knew wat i had to do.. i ha to PRAY..

i kneel down.. and started praying.. immediately .. i felt God's peace and security over me.. I was soo much calmer.. i felt the confidence.. and i definately told myself im not goin to let it beat me... im letting go of the fear and i will drive! Amen!

and guess wat..?? i went for my driving and honestly as i place both my hands on the stering and started driving ..i seriusly felt God was taking control!! i actualy had a smooth drive throughout all the routes.. and did an amazing parking and i did an amazing 3 pointer parking.. and the instuctor didnt yell at me!!!! yAY!! amazing aint it wat God can do.. ?? many may think .. * hey dis girl is ridiculous.. hw can she thank God when it probably all luck or maybe because of my own initiative.. * but honestly im telling u.. i owe it all to Him.. i wudnt hv been confident.. my state of mind wud hv been a mess.. and i totally wud hv screwed up big tym again..i kno and i knew the diffrence.. and i proudly now say dat i can drive!!!! i concoured my fear of driving!!

heh heh.. i kno im talking lyk alridi got my license.. but no.. 1 mor lesson and pti to go.. i kno i can do it by the grace of God.. hehe... thank you Jesus.. ur the best!!

friends.. i just wanted to share dis amazing testimony.. to prove dat God is good.. he is always there for us through thick and thin.. whenever u need him just call him.. by prayer.. :)