wordless towards life

Its so nice to blog with wireless service nearby..anywhere anytym.. juz hv to tek my laptop and juz start blogging...haha.. oh yes iim bloggin with my laptop now..!! feels kinda lyk carrie bradshaw frm "sex and the city". not dat she blogs or watever juz the she and her laptop part.. u wud get wat i mean if u watch the show if not it wud all b an utter nonsense to u..kiki..

Anyways.. dat wasnt reali wat i wanted to talk about. Well.. i read one of juan's post recently.. in away she is so much lyk me.. especialy the not the "socialising" type part and also the part where "i wud rather spend the day reading novels than clubbin" part too.. haha.. (hope u don mind me talkin bout u juan...) but i think she has a great group of ppl surrouding her... and she sooO talented .. :)

Oh well back to me.. hehe.. yea sumtyms i find myself boring.. (probably one of the reasons why i don hv a boyfren.. kakaka..).. feeling kinda insecure as well.. and dats most prOBAbly coz im not prayin as hard as im suppose to.. i find it hard to pray at times.. its lyk i pray one day then another i dont. I dont get myself either.. and its getting reali frustrating.. im feel lyk a wave in the sea.. soo unstable.. den one day just cause a tsunami! O_O haih.. when am i goin o reach a firm ground?? another thing is . its been soo long since i had a long break lyk dis.. and i juz donno wat to do with all the free time!! lol.. i kno watever im sayin doesnt mek any sense ryt?? plus im sure most wud die for a holiday lyk this.. gosh.. seriusly im not so keen on it..okay in a way..wt im trying to say isim soo bored dat i dont feel lyk prayin!! Everything is just lyk a routine.. ! im sick of it! im desperate for sumthing new to happen.. mayb i were to be a kl citizen probably it wud hv been a diffrent matter.. midvaley nearby(cn go watch movie and bowling!)..POPULAR and MPH nearby(cn go grab sum novels.).. den i can meet up with my peeps once in a while.. ^^'.. i kno wt u'd b thinking la.. "wat?? dats it?? i tot whEn shE meNtiOned Kl she'd probaBly b thinkIng Of ClubbinG..! " ..u got dat WRONG! lyk i said.. "im boring" ..lolz..! haha...but..... i wud reali wanna go clubbing tho.. BUT..only with the right group of ppl..until den.. clubbing wud probably just be at the bottom of my list..

Right now.. i just cnt wait to get to kampar and get started with my dgree!! i cnt keep stayin in the house lyk dis.. eating..sleeping.. den eating... den watch tv.. im gaining weight..:-/ .. lyk seriusly.. im GAINING WEIGHT wei..!! its just scary.. i remember telling my mum yester day.. "i feel so fat and depressed".. and i thought i erased the word "depress" from MY dictionary along tym ago.. and here i am again using d it.. Honestly cnt blame anyone.. i shud hv planned my holidays well.. nevertheLess i KNOW i need to stay focus! this holiday became one big huge ball of test for me.. so i must b firm i must be steady! Cnt b lyk a wave lydia.. must b lyk a calm sea.. for as long as u hv Jesus.. u have ur firm foundation.. which reminds me of a verse from a song..

"Jesus your my firm foundation.. i kno i can stand secure.."

haha.. now as im writing.. i sense a smile on my face.. i think i got the answer i needed from God..