I went to church last saturday( churches are mostly saturday here ^^).. anyway.. yea.. i went to church last saturday.. thank God it was Pastor Ambrose.. its been so long since i herd him preach.. and when he preaches.. pheew.. does it make an impact..!!
So yea, coming to the point.. i think most shud kno by now that i'll be goin to Kampar next yer January for my degree in Computer Engineering.. well.. my course computer engineering isnt an engineering course but more of information technology course.. if i say im doin computer engineering not many will give a positive feedback.. dat obviously saddens me.. ppl luk at me as if im not gonna get a high paid job or something.. >:( .. but computer engineering is not lyk dat.. it has such a wide range of work becoz it covers almost all of wat we need to know bout the cyber world! i think dat the percentage for me to get a job is definately high depending which part of the field im good in.. but still..its not dat i dont get a positive feedback.. i do.. but.. very little.. so in away.. im scared.. vulnerable..
i prayed bout it before choosing the course.. u kNo dat God is der.. sometimes when u dont get the ryt feedback.. u just cnt help but to doubt.. it makes me angry knowing that ppl judge the course i do without knowing what the course really is all about.. all in all it just makes me feel soo upset.. now dat im goin all the way to kampar is kinda freakin me out a little..
so towards the end of the service... the pastor told us to find a partner.. i ended up with the pastor's wife.. heh..heh.. he then told us to strech out our both our hands and put it facing ur both of ur partner's hands.. before dat he said God has giving both ur hands power heal.. den he said.. i want u to now just close ur eyes and pray.. see what God wants u to tell ur partner bout themselves.. i just did what he told... i didnt expect to c anything anyways.... true enough i DIDNT.. keke.. but the pastor's wife did.. O_O
she whispered into my ears and said : God sees vulnerableness in you... dat u feel vulnerable to the place you're goin.. and He wants u to kno dat He's there for u through each step u take.. just trust in Him..
den she looked at me and said: "i kno u dont have anything to say to me.. its okay.. "den she gave me a warm smile and a hug..and squeeze my hands and said : "trust Him Lydia.. trust Him!!"
that kinda gave me the motivation and also the boost of confidence dat i needed.. and my faith is restored.. and so it also brings me back to when i was form 5 preparing for spm.. and also not knowing wat career i'll b choosing.. it was beginning of the year.. there was a prophetic seminar for 2days in seremban evangel.. on the second day .. dey had a combine adult and youth service.. it was conducted by a south african pastor named Freaky Baker(i kno .. he has a funny name..hehe) .. so he started off by sayin God is gonna speak to us today.. He's gonna phophesy.. and he's gonna heal.. he started with the youths: " who feels unsure about the future.. bout the which path to choose now dat u've finish with ur studies....etc.... " hearing wat he said.. just made wanna stand up.. kept my fingers crossed hoping dat God wud hv sumthing to tell me.. but it wasnt onli me.. but also most youths who hv complited their spm or stpm.. and i was wondering "i havent even finish anything and im standing up.. no ones gonna notice me anyway.."
"The lady over der.. plz come infront" said the pastor.. i was lyk "lady?? im a gal.. dun think its me.."~~ den he said again.. i was lyk lookin to the left den right.. my frens were lyk.. "hey his calling u la!!" so i nervoursely went up the front... dis is the 1st tym im getting something lyk dis.. something as in lyk an acknowledgement from God maybe..~~.. and yes.. this was wat pastor Frealy said by lifting both my hands.. " first u need to learn lift ur hands up and praise Him.. okay?? and this is want he wants u to kno.. always walk forward and nvr look back.. just trust him and keep walking forward.. and nvr nvr look back.. he's not telling me wats it about.. but he's telling u to just keep walking forward.. "
honestly..i didnt understand it at all at that time.. i was seriusly blur blur ny.. but onli after all the failures.. and test.. and temptations.. i understood those what God was tellin me..
so yea.. im gonna keep walking forward.. praying..praising.. trusting Him most importantly through each step i take.. :D
DOUBTS: 0%
TRUST:100%
FAITH:100%
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