Love Drunk

Though now I’m hungover..
I’ll love you forever ..
Though that Forever is over..
So don’t catch me crying ..
When u Said hello to goodbye..
So dont put me to test..
Coz i still think ur the best..
You have entered my mind..
and now ur stuck there forever..
But can there be another..
That can replace the other.. ??


its christmas and these are the words that came rushing in my mind.. haha.. just thought of writing it before i loose the words.. :D

Wish You a Merry Christmas!!

We Wish You a Merry Christmas

We wish you a Merry Christmas
We wish you a Merry Christmas
We wish you a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.
Good tidings we bring to you and your kin

Good tidings for Christmas and a Happy New Year. ")

im realy am very excited! i sincerely wish all of u friends out there a very blessed CHRISTMAS!

lot of love from:

lydia :)

Joy

Okay.. i was pretty upset in my previous blog.. now im jOYFULL again!!! haha.. i dono y.. sumtimes u just realise.. every cloud has a silver lining.. or perhaps the grass is just greener the other side and yea.. commit evrything in God's hands and everything will be alright! *smile on my face* :D

having a pretty heavy headache actuly ..but i dun care coz im so into the CHRISTMAS FEveR!! wuhuuhhoo!! haha.. im crazy.. house decorations are goin great.. got the garlands.. ornaments ..evrything i wanted for the house for this christmas!! :) :) :) so equals to a very happy lydia!!

i seriusly hope christmas will b goin smoothly.. glad dat mum is finaly in da mood for christmas.. today to help her with 3 cookies!! i cnt imagine hw in da world we're gona pull it off.. hvinng dat christmas is just 2 days away.. but i guess v cnt help.. sis is gettin marrried in 2 weeks time..!!

also glad dat sis is back..now ders soo much help n da house.. and evrything is under control..so much excitement in so little time! hahaha! got to go wrap presents!! chawz!

HAVE A BLESSED CHRISTMAS EVRYBODY!!! AND A HAPPY NEW YEAR!!

upset

Feeling so upset.. i dun even kno wat to do ..or wat to do or wat to say.. i guess God foreseen it comin.. He knew i was goin to be this vulnerable..this upset.. this hurt..

initially i was excited to go Kampar.. i tot i'd nvr hv a problem goin der.. and i didnt kno why the pastor's wife wud say "ur bein vulnerable about the place ur goin" when she prayed for me.. i didnt feel as vulnerable as i am now.. u ask me why?? tell me.. how many of my frens are goin to Kampar.. ?? thinkin dat with these bunch of frens around i'll b okay.. 1st chris .. now vetha... and i realise onli 2 of those who repeated with me are actuly goin Kampar.. one sasi den the other is me..

its not lyk i don hv any fren bak der.. but it hard to get sumone who actuly is close to u.. im pretty complicated.. how many can actuly put up with it ah??? im sure most wud just think im weird.. i sstarting to feel ppl whom i considerd my close frens are bunch of cowards( no offence to any of u who actuly follow my blog) .. who who...who just didnt care bout me.. ukay... im bein selfish here.. i kno..

gosh.. its soo much harder den i thought.. i hv tears in my eyes.. i dono y in da world am i bein soo sensitive.. feel soo hurt.. feel lyk all they ever cared about having in lyf is fun.. is it dat hard to leave a place lyk kl and settle down in a place lyk Kampar??? wat happen to widening ur horizons?? wat happen to priorities in studies?? wat happen to living independently?? wat happen to standing on ur own feet?? wat happen to having a little faith in urself and work hard??? stop giving excuses dat studyin in utar is too hard jut becoz u cnt afford to work ur fuckin ass off!!

wherever u go.. do u think its gonna b easy?? everywhere u go.. wherever u study.. u still hv to work hard to get the good grades!! nothing comes easy.. y cnt ppl understand this simple fact and stop finding an easy way out to reach to the top.. y is it soo hard for ppl to aim high.. reach up as far as u can as ur limit is only the sky.. ?? come on la.. excuses dat u guys gif is too weak for me to accept.. u guys are weak....

remember.. taking the easy way out is never the solution.. ppl cn hv many reasons to leave utar... but the reasons y'll gif.. is.. crap.. "dey purposely fail indians la.. dey'll also fail me la.. 300 hundrend student were drop put of utar for not getting past 2.0 for deir courses.. and 200 hundred were indians..." let me tell u.. even in foundation in science.. how many of us indians failed??? all i kno is majority is indians.. honestly.. u cn tell the difrence between whose the hardworking one.. and who r the non hardworking one.. ders no such shit as "purposely failing" a student.. but on high side.. think bout it.. werent der also indians who passed foudation and went off to degree??? why?? simple..becoz.. dey were hardworking.. and some myt hv just gotten lucky.. i don c any of them complaining apart from the systems.. and either den that..i dont c y shud u??

i kno i ws one of the unlucky ones who failed certain subjects.. and.. i was also one of those who wasnt afraid to admit she's a repeat student.. while repeating.. i realise the difrence from the effort i put in before and when i was repeating.. i worked but ass off and for me dats wat matterd most at dat tym.. and the outcome?? i scored great results!! wat do u say bout dat??? my studies are a living prove and a living testimony for all of u out der! so don gif me shit reasons lyk utar is too hard.. or deir bein racist or deir practicing quota system!

i guess wat i say probably wnt matter to anyone.. go ahead.. do watever u want.. but if u don put in effort in watever u do.. ur gonna b left in da same dump u thought u have left no matter where u go.. remember.. ders no shortcuts in life.. its all about hw u deal with the failures and hardship dat'll mek u the person u wanna aaCTUALLy b in life.. as for me.. :

"Work hard and pray.. and let God take care of the rest"

dont b afraid.. but have faith in God.. why be afraid when u hv a great and mighty God at your side..???Dont doubt urself.. because when u doubt urself.. u'll hv doubts in ur prayer.. He will take care of all the obstacles.hurdles..the unfairness of this society.. cheaters..liers.. backstabbers.. hooks and crooks..!! and DONT blame God for ur irresponsibility and selfishness to indulge urself in the temptations of the world even when u kno u hv priorities..!! ~_~

Christmas is All Around - II

Christmas is All Around Lyrics: "
I feel it in my fingers,
I feel it in my toes,
Christmas is all around me,
and so the feeling grows

It's written in the wind,
It's everywhere I go,
So if you really love Christmas,
C'mon and let it snow?

You know I love Christmas
I always will
My mind's made up
The way that I feel
There's no beginning
There'll be no end
Cuz on Christmas,
You can depend

You gave your presents to me
And I gave mine to you
I need Santa beside me
In everything I do

You know I love Christmas
I always will
My mind's made up
The way that I feel
There's no beginning
There'll be no end
Cuz on Christmas,
You can depend

Cuz on Christmas,
You can depend

It's written on the wind
It's everywhere I go
So if you really love me
C'mon and let it snow?
C'mon and let it snow?
So if you really love
C'mon and let it
If you really love me
C'mon and let it
Now if you really love me
C'mon and let it snow?"

christmas is all around..

lovin my blog's song ryt now.. since xmas is around the corner.. oh no.. its dis coming fridAYY!!!! anyways.. "christmas s all around" is d current song playing on my blog.. i gt it from the movie "love actuly" . the song is actuly an altered version of ''love is all around" ..hehe... the song is funy anyways.. hear it and enjoy it!!

anyways.. christmas will kinda b simple dis yer..lyk i said in my previous blogs.. the wedding fever is soo much greater den christmas fever.. eventho v wanted christmas to b simple.. v actuly did quite alot changes in our house... v repainted the front porch.. the back.. den bought new ornaments for the christmas tree.. bought a garland for the porch and lights.. (actuly nt enuf.. tryin o persuade my currently paranoid mom.. its gonna b tough without a fyt.. lol..) ..haih.. i cnt blame her actuly.. bcoz my parents hv spent so much on the wedding itself!! eventho i kno dat.. im still angry... its just not fair.. and i aso dat wat im sayin now is aso not fair.. im angry coz..i'll hv all dis amazing ideas on hw to decorate the house.. but im unable to execute any of it and evem if i cud execute it ..onli half of it is actuly executed... its always either coz of money... or MOM.. sometimes she cn b soo nice.. sometimes she cn b such a pain! gosh.. i kno i sound spoilt.. atleast let me ...in my blog ... heh heh .. hm.. =_=

mums...

mothers.. sumtimes dey can b soo ridiculous... dat it pisses me off!!
y dey hv to act lyk dey kno evrything.. ??
nothing is a "yes" and everything is a "no"
hate it the most when sumone treats me lyk a typical teenager..!
damn..

xmas spirit.. slowly creepin in..

hOLA! HAHA.. finaly sumhow rather got the christmas spirit to enter me.. hehe.. been feelin soo dead for the past one week!! i kno v shud hv started erlier.. but the shoppin for decorations came late tho..lol.. cnt help it if a wedding is on the way.. no wonder the xmas fever isnt felt.. bcoz d wedding fever is too great!!!

oh well... u wudnt belief i painted the front porch!!! its always been plain white .. so decided to hv colors on it for once.. we initially hired a man to paint the house .. but since the man was doin it all alone.. so i tot i chip in a little.. ( little miss samaritan.. che wah..poyohnya..).. kekekeke.. anyways.. it was fun.. got my fav 3/4 jean all painted as well.. since i didnt tek it off erlier.. it left a stain.. :) the man is a very humble man from sri lanka.. he's a church worker by the way.. he's name is George..mum paid him 300 bucks.. wish my mum paid me too!! ~~

nyways.. i was suppose to put up the christmas tree.. and here i am blogging!!! it's been 3 days since i last blogged so i was missing her..!! anyways.. g2g.. chi ya!! jesus loves u.. keep the christmas spirit goin!!!

the review: NEW MOON

omg..omg.. omg.. i finally watched new moon!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! yuhooooo!! i watched yesterday at Jusco Seremban at 11.30am with my bff stephanie( twilight author's name is also stephanie..kiki..)in hall 1 seat J4 and J5!! gosh.. u myt b thinking wat the hell is wrong with this gurl..?? NEW MOON came out lyk ages agoo .. but i dont care because im lyk super excited to blog about it!! * go lydia..go lydia.. *

"AND SO THE LION FELL IN LOVE WITH THE LAMB.. WHAT A STUPID LAMB, WHAT A SICK MASOCHISTIC LION"

These were the words dat drew to read twilight in the 1st place!! arent the words soo beautiful and powerful not to mention deep???!! haha..

so yea ..coming to the movie?? i dont understand why people didnt lyk it?? i thought it was soo good infact i think it gets better each series!! from the graphics to the the vampire and to the werewolves..evrything was good.. this was one movie which always makes me feel so deeply connected to each character... plus it was rated 1st in the hollywood boxoffice for 2 weeks!! before it got bashed by sandra bullock's new movie..heh heh.

THE WOLVES:
i think everyone wud agree dat the wolves were super hot!! deir tall builds and good looks.. not to mention deir delicius 6 packs!! jacob black was soo good lookin.. he's more matured and tall build.. looks so much stronger in his role in NEW MOON.. we usualy see werewolves as wild and vicious creature..but in this book/movie... im glad to c a friendlier side..

THE VAMPIRES:
Honestly im more of a vampire lover...i love their paleness..their cold mysterius eyes.. deir skinny but muscular body.. heeeehhh... but ya.. cudnt agree more dat robert pattinson was not so good lookin in New Moon..too much make up!! but the Vultoris were pretty scary.. truly the origins of vampires.. merciless bloodsuckers.. i like Alice Cullen sayin dat The Cullens are the freaks of the vampire world.. and i reali liked Dakota Fanning's acting as well..tho it was brief.. wish to see more of it..

the ending was bitter sweet.. bitter for Jacob as Bella chooses Edward "..it always has been him"(bella says of edward).. and Sweet one for Edward as he proposes to Bella!!!

overall..its okay.. not too over the top bout it but didnt think it was stupid or boring.. i really liked it.. i guess.. ppl just focused on the action rather den the romance part of the story.. so as they watch the movie their high expectations were cut low.. dey shud understand 1st and foremost.. dey shudnt compare twilight to Underworld/ van Helsing/ vampire diaries / trueblood.. the story has a balance between romance and action.. every action and reaction is deeply thought of.. so dig deep and u'll find twilight a pretty intresting movie :)

che wah.. im talkin lyk one bigshot movie critic ny.. anyways.. its just my opinion about the movie...

chaoz!!

Through It All

this song has been on my mind for a few days now.. so just thought of posting it ;)

Hillsong United Through It All
You are forever in my life
You see me through the seasons
Cover me with Your hand
And lead me in Your righteousness

And I look to You
And I wait on You

I'll sing to You Lord
A hymn of Love
For Your faithfulness to me
I'm carried in everlasting arms
You'll never let me go
Through it all

You are forever in my life
You see me through the seasons
Cover me with Your hand
And lead me in Your righteousness

And I look to You
And I wait on You

I'll sing to You Lord
A hymn of Love
For Your faithfulness to me
I'm carried in everlasting arms
You'll never let me go

I'll sing to You Lord
A hymn of Love
For Your faithfulness to me
I'm carried in everlasting arms
You'll never let me go
Through it all

Everlasting Father, I love You
Ever living Savior, I love You

Everlasting Father, I love You
Ever living Savior, I love You

I'll sing to You Lord
A hymn of Love
For Your faithfulness to me
I'm carried in everlasting arms
You'll never let me go
Through it all"

T_T

*offs music player..*

I went for driving and i wish i cud b proud but only to sadly say that i FAILED~!!

Gosh... i just dono wat to say.. i do feel a little ashame..oops.. did i say a little.. i mean ALOT!

i felt lyk crying so badly.. but i was angry at the same time and the tears wudnt flow..

i felt angry.. at the JPJ fella.. at the road.. at the cars on the road.. and at myself!

i wudnt lie.. i was angry at God too.. i felt He cheated me.... but i kno dats not true at the same time..

just that... i prayed soo hard.. just felt i deserve better..... :(

Dear Lord.. why do i always have to go through this?? im reali sad u kno.. i feel lyk a total loser.. okay dat not true.. i dont feel lyk a loser.. im just sad.. but hw many more failure will you put me through ar?? i feel lyk im constantly on a repeating sphree.. i fail den repeat.... fail den repeat.. same in my studies..and its the same now.. haih..

okay.. just a reminder.. dis is not me talking.. its the sad, frustrated,exhausted, sick and tired and angered me talking.. just hope i'll get over it... not hope.. i kno i'll get over it.. so Lord .. keep me in mind..

Broken-Hearted Girl

No particular reason .. just loving the lyrics.. :)

Beyonce - Broken-Hearted Girl Lyrics:
You're everything I thought you never were
and nothing like I thought you could have been
but still, you live inside of me, so tell me how is that?
You're the only one I wish I could forget
the only one I love to not forgive
and though you break my heart, you're the only one
and though there are times when I hate you
'cause i cant erase
the times that you hurt me and put tears on my face
and even now, while i hate you, it pains me to say
I know I'll be there at the end of the day

*I don't wanna be without you, babe
I don't want a broken heart
Don't wanna take a breath without you, babe
I don't wanna play that part
I know that I love you, but let me just say
I don't wanna love you in no kind of way, no no
I don't want a broken heart
I don't wanna play the broken-hearted girl
No, no, no broken-hearted girl

There's something that I feel I need to say
But up til' now I've always been afraid that you would never come around
And still I wanna put this out

You say you've got the most respect for me
But, sometimes I feel you're not deserving of me
And still, you're in my heart
But you're the only one
And yes, there are times when I hate you, but I don't complain
'Cause I've been afraid that you would walk away
Oh, but now I don't hate you
I'm happy to say
That I will be there at the end of the day

*

Now I'm at a place I thought I'd never be, ooh
I'm living in a world that's all about you and me, yeah
Ain't gotta be afraid, my broken heart is free to spread my wings and fly away, away with you....

I don't wanna be without my baby
I don't want a broken heart
Don't wanna take a breath without my baby
I don't wanna play that part
I know that I love you, but let me just say
I don't wanna love you in no kind of way, no no
I don't want a broken heart
I don't wanna play the broken-hearted girl
No, no, no broken-hearted girl
Broken-hearted girl
No broken-hearted girl"

love, from ur Father in heaven

I went to church last saturday( churches are mostly saturday here ^^).. anyway.. yea.. i went to church last saturday.. thank God it was Pastor Ambrose.. its been so long since i herd him preach.. and when he preaches.. pheew.. does it make an impact..!!

So yea, coming to the point.. i think most shud kno by now that i'll be goin to Kampar next yer January for my degree in Computer Engineering.. well.. my course computer engineering isnt an engineering course but more of information technology course.. if i say im doin computer engineering not many will give a positive feedback.. dat obviously saddens me.. ppl luk at me as if im not gonna get a high paid job or something.. >:( .. but computer engineering is not lyk dat.. it has such a wide range of work becoz it covers almost all of wat we need to know bout the cyber world! i think dat the percentage for me to get a job is definately high depending which part of the field im good in.. but still..its not dat i dont get a positive feedback.. i do.. but.. very little.. so in away.. im scared.. vulnerable..

i prayed bout it before choosing the course.. u kNo dat God is der.. sometimes when u dont get the ryt feedback.. u just cnt help but to doubt.. it makes me angry knowing that ppl judge the course i do without knowing what the course really is all about.. all in all it just makes me feel soo upset.. now dat im goin all the way to kampar is kinda freakin me out a little..

so towards the end of the service... the pastor told us to find a partner.. i ended up with the pastor's wife.. heh..heh.. he then told us to strech out our both our hands and put it facing ur both of ur partner's hands.. before dat he said God has giving both ur hands power heal.. den he said.. i want u to now just close ur eyes and pray.. see what God wants u to tell ur partner bout themselves.. i just did what he told... i didnt expect to c anything anyways.... true enough i DIDNT.. keke.. but the pastor's wife did.. O_O

she whispered into my ears and said : God sees vulnerableness in you... dat u feel vulnerable to the place you're goin.. and He wants u to kno dat He's there for u through each step u take.. just trust in Him..

den she looked at me and said: "i kno u dont have anything to say to me.. its okay.. "den she gave me a warm smile and a hug..and squeeze my hands and said : "trust Him Lydia.. trust Him!!"

that kinda gave me the motivation and also the boost of confidence dat i needed.. and my faith is restored.. and so it also brings me back to when i was form 5 preparing for spm.. and also not knowing wat career i'll b choosing.. it was beginning of the year.. there was a prophetic seminar for 2days in seremban evangel.. on the second day .. dey had a combine adult and youth service.. it was conducted by a south african pastor named Freaky Baker(i kno .. he has a funny name..hehe) .. so he started off by sayin God is gonna speak to us today.. He's gonna phophesy.. and he's gonna heal.. he started with the youths: " who feels unsure about the future.. bout the which path to choose now dat u've finish with ur studies....etc.... " hearing wat he said.. just made wanna stand up.. kept my fingers crossed hoping dat God wud hv sumthing to tell me.. but it wasnt onli me.. but also most youths who hv complited their spm or stpm.. and i was wondering "i havent even finish anything and im standing up.. no ones gonna notice me anyway.."

"The lady over der.. plz come infront" said the pastor.. i was lyk "lady?? im a gal.. dun think its me.."~~ den he said again.. i was lyk lookin to the left den right.. my frens were lyk.. "hey his calling u la!!" so i nervoursely went up the front... dis is the 1st tym im getting something lyk dis.. something as in lyk an acknowledgement from God maybe..~~.. and yes.. this was wat pastor Frealy said by lifting both my hands.. " first u need to learn lift ur hands up and praise Him.. okay?? and this is want he wants u to kno.. always walk forward and nvr look back.. just trust him and keep walking forward.. and nvr nvr look back.. he's not telling me wats it about.. but he's telling u to just keep walking forward.. "

honestly..i didnt understand it at all at that time.. i was seriusly blur blur ny.. but onli after all the failures.. and test.. and temptations.. i understood those what God was tellin me..

so yea.. im gonna keep walking forward.. praying..praising.. trusting Him most importantly through each step i take.. :D

DOUBTS: 0%
TRUST:100%
FAITH:100%

i'll stand by you 2

The day i post the lyrics of this song..the day i find sumone whose in need of a it.. haha

its kinda sad when sumone cheats on you.. especialy if its your galfren/boyfren and u trust and love them soo much but by the end of the day wondering "y did he/she do it??", "was i a horible boyfren/galfren??", "wat went wrong.??", "do i really know this person to begin with??"despite all of this unanswered question.. by the end of it all.. only one question keeps ringing in ur head.. ''how was i such a fool??"

well.. its didnt happen to me.. but i kno ppl who gone through it.. many .. but recently one.. to one of close guy frend... i am always against online dating.. because ppl can lie about almost everything.. their age.. where dey come from..what kind of ppl dey are.. for example.. a girl may known as a slut or a biatch in the real world.. but she cn appear sweet as an apple pie in facebook.. and a guy maybe all sweet, charming, hansum, "mr right" , or perhaps "the guy" of your dreams.. but he actuly turns out to be a jack ass.. or worst a pedofile

i cnt say u'll never but its hard to find a good frend.. sumone whom u can sincerely trust.. sad but true.. it didnt happen for this friend of mine.. and all i cud say to him was ''I TOLD U SO..''. i kno he is heart broken.. and i cnt imagine what he's goin through.. so i just texted him a few line of the lyrics of "i'll stand by you" .. i must say it did touch his heart.. haha!! Nevertheless.. i kno he'll find it hard to trust another gal in another relationship again.. but time will b the healer.. the world doesnt end just ryt der..afterall.. the first cut is the deepest ryt???

Im grateful at all times dat im a christian.. v have a God who takes care of all our needs.. He guides us to the right path at all times.. and even if we were about to make mistakes .. i mean even major ones.. He is der to stop us from doin so.. he rebukes us! as long as we come to him in prayer.. he sees us through it all.. He'll nvr let us go.. :) i wont say im a perfect person.. i've had dozens of crushes and seriusly liked certain guys.. i remember i always prayed bout it if i were to step into a relationship.. so i've liked the wrong guy.. but God showed me his true colors.. and even when i thought the next one is the one.. but God showed me .. nope.. his not the one my child.. the best part..it saved me from all the troubles..the heartache.. the hurt..the pain..the suffering.. Amen! haha!!

CONCLUSION: whether or not i'll stand by you.. or you'll stand by me..one things for sure.. Gods stands by us all... and .... NO OFFENCE TO THOSE WHO are IN SUPPORT OF ONLINE DATING!! ---PEACE-- :D

I'll Stand By You

*sobs..sobs..*
This song always put me tears each tym i hear it.. m just so touched by the lyrics!
dis song is quite an old song by Gina Glocksen. it has been resung by Girls Aloud.
i still remember the 1st tym i herd it. it was a pretty sad day. i was waiting in d car
for my mum.. it was raining.. and dis song came up on mix fm. honestly dis song was
a situation song man.. haha.. der i was.. just awe struck by the lyrics from its 1st line itself
tears just starting flowing...it was just soo beautiful.. d song i mean.. :)

Lyrics: I'll Stand By You
OH, WHY YOU LOOK SO SAD?
TEARS ARE IN YOUR EYES
COME ON AND COME TO ME NOW
DON'T BE ASHAMED TO CRY
LET ME SEE YOU THROUGH
'CAUSE I'VE SEEN THE DARK SIDE TOO
WHEN THE NIGHT FALLS ON YOU
YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
NOTHING YOU CONFESS
COULD MAKE ME LOVE YOU LESS
I'LL STAND BY YOU
I'LL STAND BY YOU
WON'T LET NOBODY HURT YOU
I'LL STAND BY YOU
SO IF YOU'RE MAD, GET MAD
DON'T HOLD IT ALL INSIDE
COME ON AND TALK TO ME NOW
HEY, WHAT YOU GOT TO HIDE?
I GET ANGRY TOO
WELL I'M A LOT LIKE YOU
WHEN YOU'RE STANDING AT THE CROSSROADS
AND DON'T KNOW WHICH PATH TO CHOOSE
LET ME COME ALONG
'CAUSE EVEN IF YOU'RE WRONG
I'LL STAND BY YOU
I'LL STAND BY YOU
WON'T LET NOBODY HURT YOU
I'LL STAND BY YOU
TAKE ME IN, INTO YOUR DARKEST HOUR
AND I'LL NEVER DESERT YOU
I'LL STAND BY YOU
AND WHEN...
WHEN THE NIGHT FALLS ON YOU, BABY
YOU'RE FEELING ALL ALONE
YOU WON'T BE ON YOUR OWN
I'LL STAND BY YOU
I'LL STAND BY YOU
WON'T LET NOBODY HURT YOU
I'LL STAND BY YOU
TAKE ME IN, INTO YOUR DARKEST HOUR
AND I'LL NEVER DESERT YOU
I'LL STAND BY YOU
I'LL STAND BY YOU
WON'T LET NOBODY HURT YOU
I'LL STAND BY YOU
WON'T LET NOBODY HURT YOU
I'LL STAND BY YOU"

doin wat i can do.. haha

I blogged previously about me gaining weight aite??haha.. was in the bank.. my mom was opening an account for me since i was goin to kampar.. den v were sitting down and i told her.. "ma .. i put on weight edy.." my mom was lyk :"how much weight u put on?" so i said :"4kgs.." and my mom went all bananas on me..!! haha.. her reactions were d funniest..!! and she started lecturing me on how to eat my food and all.. and i was thinking to myself:" hey.. she wudnt hv even known/noticed if i didnt tell her!!" well.. i hAve been reali strict when it came to food since highschool.. i was always scared dat i'll luk fat..as it is im chubby.. recently.. i just dcided to let it go and just eat watever i want freely! and im chubbier ..so..its scarying me ryt now.. coz my sisters wedding is coming and im the bridesmaid.. and nobody wans to see a fat bridesmaid..!! :-/

So.. inspired by THE BIGGEST LOSER(kononnya.. -_-) i decided to loose weight the healthy way.. eat less and exercise more!! But remember ... breakfast is most important.. so hv a heavy breakfast.. but lunch eat less.. and dinner take sum fruits or oats.. and lets not forget exercising aite?? 10minutes of sit ups.. den 10 minutes on leg exercise and den another 10 minutes of push up.. its not the mens push ups but its the push ups for the ladies.. i learnt dis during PJ class back in school.. for men, push up is done on the floor ryt.. its main purpose is for building hand muscles i think.. but for women push ups is done on the wall.. both ur hands are wide spread on the wall and ur body is positioned lyk a right angles triangle from the wall den u just do ur push ups.. well for women its all about toning the arm muscles.. so dat ur arm looks leaner.. as i hv big arm :(hehe.. im tipping alot bout exercise eh?? i hope it helps la.. hehehehehe..

Anyways... been doin dis 30minutes exercise evryday twice.. muscles aching lyk crazy.. so i guess its working..and my body is getting use to it.. hope to get a nice slim and lean body by end of the month!! i seriusly seriusly seriusly hope.. :-S

wordless towards life

Its so nice to blog with wireless service nearby..anywhere anytym.. juz hv to tek my laptop and juz start blogging...haha.. oh yes iim bloggin with my laptop now..!! feels kinda lyk carrie bradshaw frm "sex and the city". not dat she blogs or watever juz the she and her laptop part.. u wud get wat i mean if u watch the show if not it wud all b an utter nonsense to u..kiki..

Anyways.. dat wasnt reali wat i wanted to talk about. Well.. i read one of juan's post recently.. in away she is so much lyk me.. especialy the not the "socialising" type part and also the part where "i wud rather spend the day reading novels than clubbin" part too.. haha.. (hope u don mind me talkin bout u juan...) but i think she has a great group of ppl surrouding her... and she sooO talented .. :)

Oh well back to me.. hehe.. yea sumtyms i find myself boring.. (probably one of the reasons why i don hv a boyfren.. kakaka..).. feeling kinda insecure as well.. and dats most prOBAbly coz im not prayin as hard as im suppose to.. i find it hard to pray at times.. its lyk i pray one day then another i dont. I dont get myself either.. and its getting reali frustrating.. im feel lyk a wave in the sea.. soo unstable.. den one day just cause a tsunami! O_O haih.. when am i goin o reach a firm ground?? another thing is . its been soo long since i had a long break lyk dis.. and i juz donno wat to do with all the free time!! lol.. i kno watever im sayin doesnt mek any sense ryt?? plus im sure most wud die for a holiday lyk this.. gosh.. seriusly im not so keen on it..okay in a way..wt im trying to say isim soo bored dat i dont feel lyk prayin!! Everything is just lyk a routine.. ! im sick of it! im desperate for sumthing new to happen.. mayb i were to be a kl citizen probably it wud hv been a diffrent matter.. midvaley nearby(cn go watch movie and bowling!)..POPULAR and MPH nearby(cn go grab sum novels.).. den i can meet up with my peeps once in a while.. ^^'.. i kno wt u'd b thinking la.. "wat?? dats it?? i tot whEn shE meNtiOned Kl she'd probaBly b thinkIng Of ClubbinG..! " ..u got dat WRONG! lyk i said.. "im boring" ..lolz..! haha...but..... i wud reali wanna go clubbing tho.. BUT..only with the right group of ppl..until den.. clubbing wud probably just be at the bottom of my list..

Right now.. i just cnt wait to get to kampar and get started with my dgree!! i cnt keep stayin in the house lyk dis.. eating..sleeping.. den eating... den watch tv.. im gaining weight..:-/ .. lyk seriusly.. im GAINING WEIGHT wei..!! its just scary.. i remember telling my mum yester day.. "i feel so fat and depressed".. and i thought i erased the word "depress" from MY dictionary along tym ago.. and here i am again using d it.. Honestly cnt blame anyone.. i shud hv planned my holidays well.. nevertheLess i KNOW i need to stay focus! this holiday became one big huge ball of test for me.. so i must b firm i must be steady! Cnt b lyk a wave lydia.. must b lyk a calm sea.. for as long as u hv Jesus.. u have ur firm foundation.. which reminds me of a verse from a song..

"Jesus your my firm foundation.. i kno i can stand secure.."

haha.. now as im writing.. i sense a smile on my face.. i think i got the answer i needed from God..

my testimony..

1st an foremost.. i wud lyk to testify sumthing dat had happen to me.. remember when i blogged about drving??? hw it sucked for me??? hw the stupid instructor gave me hard tym?!! it pisses me off by even thinking bout it.. haihs.. but ever since dat i've been reali prayin hard.. commited my drivinn into the lord's holy hands.. i even did notes of the procedures for goin up the hill, the parking, and the 3 pointers and slipped insyd my bible.. i kno wat ur thinking.. *dis gal is paranoid..* and yea mayb i am but soo wat?! the terror i faced onli i kno wat its lyk.. :_(

after dat horified incident.. i juz totaly needed a tym off of driving.. cudnt stand the intuctors guts for another week more!! i tuk a break for a week.. den i expected d next week he'd call me.. but no call.. pheww.. but during my tym off.. i prayed hard.. prayed to the Lord all mighty to b my guide and strength.. and most importantly i prayed for Him to take over the wheels of the car :). apart from dat i kept visualising everything in my head.. from the routes i'll b driving on.. the up the hill, parking and 3 pointer procedures.. to balancing the 3 paddles.. everything was just visualize in my head.. and i nvr even practise on an actual car all these tym.. dat kinda worried me.....

after 2 weeks.. finaly the call came.. the moment was not sure awaiting or dreading came.. :-/ but watever it is once i put down the phone.. i was literally freaking out!!!!!!! i had cold feet..cold hand.. sweaty palms.. nervous.. nauseated.. all the symptoms of anxiety(from management studies) !! i was soo restless and i kept walking here and there with a super drained face.. i think everyone in the family knew y my face was lyk dat.. my granny came up to me ..she hold my hands and said:" u prayed bout it ryt..?? so dun worry.. God is with u." It gave me a little comfort.. but it wasnt enuf. So i went over to a frens place opposite my house.. thinking it myt clear my head if i talk to sumone.. but no.. i was juz feeling very uncomfortable.. i came back home.. went back into my room.. i knew wat i had to do.. i ha to PRAY..

i kneel down.. and started praying.. immediately .. i felt God's peace and security over me.. I was soo much calmer.. i felt the confidence.. and i definately told myself im not goin to let it beat me... im letting go of the fear and i will drive! Amen!

and guess wat..?? i went for my driving and honestly as i place both my hands on the stering and started driving ..i seriusly felt God was taking control!! i actualy had a smooth drive throughout all the routes.. and did an amazing parking and i did an amazing 3 pointer parking.. and the instuctor didnt yell at me!!!! yAY!! amazing aint it wat God can do.. ?? many may think .. * hey dis girl is ridiculous.. hw can she thank God when it probably all luck or maybe because of my own initiative.. * but honestly im telling u.. i owe it all to Him.. i wudnt hv been confident.. my state of mind wud hv been a mess.. and i totally wud hv screwed up big tym again..i kno and i knew the diffrence.. and i proudly now say dat i can drive!!!! i concoured my fear of driving!!

heh heh.. i kno im talking lyk alridi got my license.. but no.. 1 mor lesson and pti to go.. i kno i can do it by the grace of God.. hehe... thank you Jesus.. ur the best!!

friends.. i just wanted to share dis amazing testimony.. to prove dat God is good.. he is always there for us through thick and thin.. whenever u need him just call him.. by prayer.. :)

yallo!!

hey der.. i kno i havent blogged for ages.. internet emergency..hv soo much to blog and to share about.. and it sucks coz i HAVENT WATCH NEW MOON YET!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! nonsense.. !! i dono y i hv to be situated in a very "strategic" place where ders no cinema near by.. dis meks me miss kl alot.. wuwuwuwu.. hw nice it was when midvalley was juz 10mins away.. and all u hv to pay rm1.90 , grabbed a rapid kl and pooff! im in midvalley!! ooh.. btw i alridi mek plans to go watch NEW MOON by dis week! i soo wanna blog about NEW MOON!! hahahaha!!

IM SOO SORI EDWARD.. I"LL B CUMING TO C U SOOON.. SORI I MISSED UR 1st SHOW ON THURSDAY..

arrgg!! im goin crazy.. edward ..jacob.. ofcourse im on edwards syd... becoz i love him! jacob is cute too!! hehe.. >.<

im super crazily downloading loads of twilight pics and wallpapers!!!

its official.. im a crazy twihard fan!!!

the uncomfortable Psalms..

Hey people ..im glad dat my prayer life is back on track and i intend to keep it dat way.. thanks for all ur prayers.. i think sumtyms .. knowing dat u serve an ever loving..ever forgiving..ever truthfull God..u just tend to take advantage of it.. lyk i did.. becoz i kno dat each time i fall God is ever ready to pick me up.. until i wud purposely fall knowing the fact dat He will pick me up again.. christians.. this is a sin.. becoz in a way ur just using God.. so nvr do it.. for me.. i was just wrapped up in that guilt..dat i cudnt bring myself to pray or face Him. remember dat God has feelings too.. He can be hurt as much as u and i can be...

Im currently studyin the book of Psalms with the guidance of a booklet called "Everyday with Jesus". Its kinda funny coz its describe as the uncomfortable Psalms.. true enough.. u can c hw the psalmist especially the psalms of David.. he had frustration.. anger.. sadness.. dissapointments towards God expressed in his psalms.. which meks u wonder : "uukay.. wats David tryin to do here..?? he beat the lion, the bear, Goliathe and became king.. y is he so angry?? " but den at the same time u c how beautiful certain psalms can b.. lyk psalm 23, psalm 91, psalm 32 .. where the psalmist also expresses his gratitude, joy, happiness and sense of security towards God..

As i was studyin .. the book tells us that its okay to b angry or frustrated or disapointed wit God's ways and will in our lives.. so watever David was angry about.. im sure he has his reasons la.. dont we?? but God knows our negative emotions will only last a while.. and He's ready to forgive us when we seek forgiveness.. onli to be granted with countless joys and blessings later :)

I'd probably enlighten u more in intresting fact about the uncomfortable psalms later on.. hehehehe..

GOD IS GOOD ALL THE TIME..!! :D

`talks and thoughts

* drippy nose.. snif snif* gosh.. my sinuses are getting worst bcoz of the rain!! hw come its raining every?? i mean the cold wether is nice and all.. but its reali annoying if u keep sneezing and u are unable to enjoy it!! Plus its raining everyday and u cnt even go out much.. stuck in the house.. facebooking all day.. blogging(which i'd nvr get bored of).. watching tv...napping..den watch tv.. den facebook again.. den watch tv.. den sleep at 3am in da morning.. and get up late.. pray den start the same routine all over again... i'm actuly so bored dat i'd even grudgingly watch tamil dramas wit my amama.. i'll b kutuking the storyline and the dialog.. just so dat these oldies will stop watching it(atleast to enable to watch oprah at 1pm..!) but it doesnt work.. =_= *sweat..*



i don get it! wats the trill in watching annoyin dramas lyk dis?! full of nonsensified conflict.. and just when the bad guy turns good den one of the good chracters will turn into d villain.. den the latest tradenark in tamil dramas.. most of the main chracters are hit wit amnesia.. speakin of amnesia..nothing can beat "samantha who?" which stars christina applegate.. its one the best comedic drama series i've watch and still watching.. :) well.. christina as samantha in da series is met with an accident den she'll hv amnesia as in forgetting everything dat has ever happend in her entire life! but the amnesia was actuly a good thing especially in her case cause she was a downright mean girl in her past who sleeps around with guys..unfaithful to her boyfren.. mean to fat and ugly looking gals(according to her dat is..).. a horible frend and daughter to her parents.. So she sets out in a journey of repentance.. finding herself in da midst of her past.. changing..repenting.. self forgiving.. apoligising and bcoming a better person in life while gaining the memories of her past.. :)



From tamil dramas to samantha who.. im just writing watever dats coming to my mind.. i was goin through my old posts yesterday.. and i came across my very 1st post.. i was decribing myself and i wrote dat i'd get bored easily.. as in im always finding sumthing new to do and once the new bcums old..den i'll juz leave it.. d passion doesnt stay long.. im surpice dat im faithfully blogging.. in a way it has bcum part of my life..its become a passion dat stays long.. hehe.. i dono wether i make any sense or not.. i find blogs are very intresting.. u learn alot bout others ..how others live their life.. and people hv many ways to describe deir lifestyle.. through facts..pictures.. words.. its soo inspiring and makes me wanna blog more.. intrigue people to read my blogs.. receiving comments bout ur posts evry once in a while.. knwing how people feel or react toward watever u post.. in a way ur also interacting with the outside world.. intresting eh?? it is very.....

so super hungry ryt now... wanna chao off to eat.. another thing is... i gained 2 kgs alridi!! im reali getting worried i am getting hungry alot nowadays and i cnt seem to stop my eating frenzy.. espeacially late night snacks..!!! gosh.. i gotta control.. if not im goona b a fat bridesmaide for my sister's wedding!!! but im still gona eat now anyways.. im hungry.. *grints*

Des'ree LIFE

Hey remember Des'ree's song called life?? who can forget it..!! or maybe im juz being old skool.. arg! who cares.. dis song is still one of the best of the 90's !! since i was talkin bout life in my past few posts.. so y not i juz post the lyrics.. lyk i always do for all the other songs i've ever had in my blog.. :)

Enjoy!!

I'm afraid of the dark
Especially when I'm in a park
And there's no one else around,
Oh I get the shivers.
I don't want to see a ghost,
It's the sight that I fear most
I'd rather have a piece of toast
And watch the evening news.

Chorus:
Life, oh life! Oh life! Oh life!
doo,Doot doot dooo...
Life, oh life! Oh life!Oh life!
doo doot doo

I'm a superstitious girl
I'm the worst in the world
Never walk under the ladders,
I keep a rabbit's tail.
I'll take you up on the dare,
Anytime, anywhere;
Name the place,
I'll be there,
Bungee jumping,
I don't care!

Chorus
life oh life...

So after all said and done
I know I'm not the only one
Life indeed can be fun,
If you really want to.
Sometimes living out your dreams,
Ain't as easy as it seems
You wanna fly around the world,
In a beautiful balloon.

Chorus (2x)

Doo doot doo doot.

Repeat
Oh, life, oh life!.....

whhoopss! by the way.. change new skin for my blog and added sum edge to it and loving it coz its full of life!!!!!

my baby gal!!

chill..!! hold dat thought .. judging from the title.. dun think i suddenly popped out a baby out of no where.. kekekeke.. i juz wanted to post sum pics my my cute little baby cuzin sista! dis 7 yer old babe is seriusly a cutie!! shes my baby..

` probably she thinks she's a hawaiian chick ryt now..

` her idea of a super hot boyfren.. :p

` aww... how cute!

`madam merajuk dis tym.. no reaction regardles of watever v do..

` she's a kid..so obviously she cries..

` phew.. the tantrums..

` ahaa.. the sweet girl..

how i wish she was my sister... i'll squeeze her tight everyday lyk my bolster and keep her by my side lyk my teddy(not dat i hv one ..eheh ..heh... ahemm.. )..

love or life..its a battlefield

did i mention dat i went to the historical city last one week?? haha.. guess not.. oh well its not lyk i went to any of those historical venues anyways. Juz went der to meet up wit my cuzin sista and the family.. tHAnk u LOrd for letting my mum agree to go der in the 1st place! my mum is kinda overprotective of me ..hm..juz sumtyms .. especialy the tyms where i try to do my own stunts! hehe.. it started since i was a kid.. the 1st stunt i pulled was when i was 1 plus.. mum brought me to town and she was holding my hand while crossing the road.. and little miss stuntkid lydia parveena koren dcided to let go and run off in d middle of the road all by my self! (proud moments actuly..hehe) anyways..nothing happen la.. my aunt manage to get hold of me.. and the rest u shud kno wat happen la.. kena rotan to the max!! and ofcoz the 19 yer old me now doesnt remember these treasured memories.. not untill my mum herself to me bout it..hehehe.. den next came the motorbike incident where i banged a tree with it.. kakakakaka!!! wat'd u expect i was lerning.. so fearing dat i wud ride a bike my mum wudnt let me stay in any relatives house dat has a motorbike.. gosh..

oh well.. went to melaka itself .. 1st few days.. drama started .. drama as in not only the tamil dramas but also drama in my cuzin sister's love life.. haih.. honestly i dono wats wrong with certain guys in wanting to kill themselves in order not to loose the one dey love???so tamil movie la.. the weird part was he was sooo overprotective and obsessive bout her dat he didnt wanna even c her with another guy and the most unfair part was he cAn hang out with other gals..SEXIST!!! haiyooooo... watevr it is.. sum gals( example: my cuzin sis) will forgif them and yEs give their boyfren the 2nd (god knows number wat chance was this..) chance and settle things.. cliche.. budak budak kecil zaman ini... biasa la.. juz hope dat he wudnt hurt her feelings no more..

speakin of boyfrens..im juz glad i didnt hv obsesive or overprotective..oops.. not dat i hv one ryt.. its far better den having overobsesive ex-es chasing down the current over obsesive boyfren in order to get back the ex galfren.. seriusly its a scary world out der.. be careful people..hm.. grateful dat atleast the person who liked me wasnt lyk dat................... oh wait .. ders nothin to be obsesive bout me anyways.. wether is it beauty(big nose), figure(im a shorty), complexion(im a bit tanned.. ) nevertheless i still believe in the sayin dat "beauty lies only in the eyes of the beholder" but cnt change the fact dat im such a perasan kes sumtyms.. muhahaha..

hm.. hm.. been thinkin alot bout u kno who lately.. not dat i want to.. sumtyms i feel lyk im in denial..i feel lyk i've moved on.. and sumtyms i feel i havent..but each tym i think bout wat happened it juz irritates me.. i get overwhelmed by the feeling of frustration.."y was he such a coward??" coz dats wats keep appearing in my head.. tho i kno he is not la.... i kno i nvr talked bout it.. lyk i said i think im in denial.. i juz dono wat to say bout it.. and im still not gonna talk bout it anyways.. it was nobody's fault.. but juz me ending up makin a fool out of myself.. it ended before it even had a chance to start.. i wonder if it even stood a chance..?? i wonder how it wud have been lyk?? seriusly sayin.. u cant help but to wish : "how nice if life had a REWIND button.." or how I had wish we parted as frens atleast.. but the fact is life DOES NOT have a rewind button and v have no choice but to face it! well.. right or wrong.. i decided to shut myself completely away.. from him dat is..

sumtyms i wander wat God is tryin to do.. okay..okay.. i wnt deny the fact dat i do miss him.. and here i am tryin to avoid any contact with him.. but when i open fb der it is.. new posts bout him(unavoidable).. and its always sumthing serius...oh Lord..wat r u tryin to show me??sumtyms i dono wether Your testing me and sumtyms i wonder if the devil and God is having sum kind of talk bout me up in heaven..u kno.. sumthing lyk Job's story.. but den again I AM NOT Job!! Lord watver it is ur tryin to show me.. im takin it as a sign dat i shud pray for him.. for his health and ur healing over his body and soul.. as juan says "P.U.S.H" pray until sumthings happens.. well.. its not bout US anymore but merely him.. no harm done to pray for a persons healing.. well its all in His hands, its His plans, His time, and His will b done! :)

i guess dis is LiFe :) .. CLicHE again... haizzzz... *giggles..*

love or life.. its a battlefield.. atleast in my point of view it is.. so go get ur armor!! dont u dare surender (=

P.S : i think its one of my longest post.. i think i was blurting out watever i wanted to say for the past few days/ months =S....phew.....

life.. =)

"Life is an opportunity, benefit from it.
Life is beauty, admire it.
Life is bliss, taste it.
Life is a dream, realize it.
Life is a challenge, meet it.
Life is a duty, complete it.
Life is a game, play it.
Life is a promise, fulfill it.
Life is sorrow, overcome it.
Life is a song, sing it.
Life is a struggle, accept it.
Life is a tragedy, confront it.
Life is an adventure, dare it.
Life is luck, make it.
Life is too precious, do not destroy it.
Life is life, fight for it."

~ Mother Teresa

Randomly bumped into these beautiful love quotes.. hehe.. they are famous and popular. Just tot of sharing it. My favs are the ones in red :)

1. There is only one happiness in life -- to love and to be loved.
--George Sand

2. What I needed most was to love and to be loved, eager to be caught. Happily I wrapped those painful bonds around me; and sure enough, I would be lashed with the red-hot pokers or jealousy, by suspicions and fear, by burst of anger and quarrels.
--St. Augustine

3. "When you are in Love you can't fall asleep because reality is better than your dreams."
--Dr Seuss

4. Women wish to be loved not because they are pretty, or good, or well bred, or graceful, or intelligent, but because they are themselves.
--Henri Frederic Amiel

5. The best thing about me is you.
--Shannon Crown

6. Pleasure of love lasts but a moment, Pain of love lasts a lifetime
.--Bette Davis

7. If you love me, let me know. If not, please gently let me go.
--Anonymous

8. You come to love not by finding the perfect person, but by seeing an imperfect person perfectly.
--Sam Keen

9. To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world.
--Heather Cortez

10. The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched. They must be felt with the heart.
--Helen Keller

Nevertheless for me, what I would quote is that “Love will always be a part of our lives. It is the emotion that God has given us to use for him and to other people.”

twinkle twinkle_indian style ;)

u shud watch dis.. its soo funny!!

feelin lyk a total screw up in driving :'(

My god.. i dont think i've been so lack of confidence in my lyf up till now! dis morning driving lesson was such a screw up .. i actualy went and hit the pole during my parking! how embarassing can dat be?!! christ.. and dat f**cked up instructor isnt makin me feel any better( why wud he.. i juz wrecked his car..) but.. im stil lerning.. its not fair dat im the onli one whose not getting it right! its sooo nonsensified dat i cant tek it!

i dah la pantang giler ppl scolding me.. but this bloody instructor said i was lembap.. god..lembap.. me?? even my mom nvr called me lembap.. everythin wasnt ryt today.. it was his fault to begin with! which idiot instructor wud message a person 6.30 am in da morning to tell u dat ur having a lesson at 8am?!! let alone called me at 7.3o while i was still sleeping to remind me dat???!!

u wudnt blive it.. i almost cried today.. i just wanted to kill sumbody!!! even now.. as im writing dis!! im soo bloody irritated and angry! hw did others get their licence so easily?? did dey hv to put thru with such pain in the ass as well? oh come on.. i don think it was dat bad for others... probably dey had sweet and patient instructor.. and yea.. wat Is THE DEAL with the one i have anyways???? okay.. i remember him sayin y was he soo strict.. he said.. teenagers these day lyk to pandai pandai.. and they nvr listen to instructions.. dey lyk to pull things off themselves... and dat he wasnt soo strict before but now he is and bla bla bla.. but do i look lyk dat kind of person to yOU!! im an adult( i myself hv doubt in dis one).. but still.. no one called me a lembap before! i kno im slow abit.. but y?? bcoz of u not giving any clear instructions damn it!

as i was driving.. he also called me a robooooOOt :( :( :(.. sayin dat i donno kno hw to do things myself and if i dont get any instruction i cnt do anything.. MY HEART IS SHATERED!!!!! den why d hell u keep givin instructions den? u cud hv juz told me to do it myself.. when u keep giving instructions den obviously i'll hv to follow.. damn ASS!

i kno im ditching alot.. and Lord do forgive me for this.. im angry and i hv to let it out.. im lacking soo much in confidence in driving dat im reali starting to think of quiting.. i wasnt reali prepared initially.. nevertheless i was so excited and eager to master driving but ryt now.. its juz the opposite.. i feel lyk im bein bullied.. emotionaly and verbally abused.. can i juz quIIiit???

sumtyms i wonder why such ppl or such situation get to me soo easily.. honestly i cant b bothered at the moment.. bcoz dat bloody instructor is a total jerk! Lord Jesus.. take control!

PS: public transports are so much better.. and if and i will get my license.. im gonna punch the jerk 1st!

'Tis so sweet

Tis so sweet to trust in Jesus
Just to take Him at His word
Just to rest upon His promise,
Just to know "Thus saith the Lord"


Chorus:
Jesus, Jesus, how I trust Him
How I've proved Himo'er and o'er
Jesus, Jesus, precious Jesus
O for grace to trust Him more


O how sweet to trust in Jesus,
Just to trust His cleansing blood
Just in simple faith to plunge me
"Neath the healing, cleansing flood


Chorus:
Jesus, Jesus, how I trust Him!
How I've proved Himo'er and o'er!
Jesus, Jesus, precious Jesus!
O for grace to trust Him more!


Yes, 'tis sweet to trust in Jesus,
Just from sin and self to cease;
Just from Jesus simply taking
Life and rest, and joy and peace.


Chorus:
Jesus, Jesus, how I trust Him
How I've proved Himo'er and o'er
Jesus, Jesus, precious Jesus
O for grace to trust Him more


I'm so glad I learned to trust Him
Precious Jesus, saviour, friend
And I know that He is with me
Will be with me to the end.

restore dis child o Lord

I've been reali spirituallly down lately.. i reali dont kno y!! its lyk im not inspired to pray at all.. and it was a feelin lyk "im not prayin and i don care" kinda thing.. its soo weird..usually its nvr lyk dis.. especialy with having soo much of things to pray about!!! its meking me hv mood swings alot and i end up giving a hard tym to everyone around me.. i kno i have to commit it to the Lord and its got to hv a full stop to it.

anyways.. im juz requesting a prayer for those who actualy reads this.. plz pray for me.. dat i'll be restored with the craze for Jesus again.. pray for my studies as i'll b joinin the kampar campus nex january for my degree course and also for my driving lessons , for it to go on smoothly dat i'll b calm and less nervous about driving.. hm.. wat else.. dats all for now i guess. well as my pastor once said.. the more ppl prayin the more effectively a prayer wil tek place and i kno i have to put in dat effort as well.. Oh my sweet Jesus.. take over..

honey bee^^

"honey bee"is a song by zee avi.. i dun reali hear indie songs.. but hers r soo nice to hear.. not sure wether bcoz she's also a malaysian.. perhaps its one of the factors.. hehee

Im reali into posting lyrics mood now huh?? sighs..im jus finding soo many songs which is soo beautiful and it reali relates to LIFE.. to my life atleast.. :)

I am a honey bee
Shown out from the colony
And they won’t let me in
So I left the hive
They took away all my stripes
And broke off both my wings
So I’ll find another tree
And make the wind my friend
I’ll just sing with the birds
They’ll tell me secrets off the world

But my other honey bee
Stuck where he doesn’t wanna be
Oh my darling honey bee
I’ll come save you
Even if it means I’ll have to face the queen

So I’ll come prepared
My new friends say they would help me
Get my loved one back
They say it isn’t right
The bees have control of your mind
But I choose not to believe that
So we’ll meet in the darkness of the night
And I’ll promise I will be there on time
We’ll be guided by my new friends the butterflies
Bring us back to our own little hive

Oh my other honey bee
No longer stuck where he doesn’t wanna be
Oh my darling honey bee
I have saved you
And now that you’re with me
We can make our own honey..


how much more metaphoric and personalised can a song be.. hmm.. :)

... ... realy my best fren???

I duno wat made me write dis title.. well actully i do.. i hv many many many doubts bout is the person i consider as my best fren..reali is my best fren???

wat is a best fren? hw does sumone bcum ur best fren? hw in a way she stands out from among the rest dat u consider her to b the BEST of frens?? i've always tot best frens are lyk sisters.. dey are der for each other thru thick and thin.. always b der to hear out each others problems.. give a shoulder to cry on.. bla ..bla..bla.. but who am i kidding..?? in other words..wat im tryin to say is.. hw did i choose my best fren???? was it bcoz i knew her all my life?? was it becoz we juz randomly bcame best frens?? why is it dat im soo inquisitive over the best frend i hv?? if u realise.. everything juz lies in a question mark.. and when comes down to it.. i juz realise dat the person i tot of as my best frend isnt realy my best fren.. coz shes jus busy bein a "perfect" frend to others.... when im juz blown off to the corner.. mayb not all the tym..but most of the tym..hm..

mayb sum say its jelousy.. but im soo over the jelousy part.. becoz.. v've been togather soo long.. i read her so well.. been der for her when she was upset.. been der for her throughout her regrets and whenever she meks d wrong choices in life.. been der for her to advise her thru thick and thin.. the biggest question comes is ... was she der for me...???

throughout dis one yer.. i've gotten to kno many frens.. sum were thruthful.. sum were nice.. sum were downright mean( i gif these ppl back in da face! ).. sum were useless.. sum were juz fake.. atleast dey were honest.. but.. hw many faces hv u shown me through dis one yer?? haiz..bein the idiotic me.. i juz kept quiet..

am i hurt..?? yes i am.. bcoz i dun even kno wether my frenship mean anything to u.. or watever i've been doin or hv done for u ever rings a bell??..or atleast an appreciation?? hv u ever come to my house to c me when v'r back in our humtown?? ow.. i remember...u came.. but it was nvr for me.. and u kno very well for wat.. hv u ever given me a call?? hv u ever treated me with a smile when im over at ur house..?? all were juz replaced wit ur snobbish character.. u nvr look at me in the eyes whenever im talkin.. imagine hw wud i feel when a tv or a laptop is more important den me?? and worst... 'sorry's onli came after it was asked for..

i kno v hv many difrences.. many.. not even one similarity.. physically and mentally.. perhaps dats the root to everything..

usually ...im not dis stupid to stick around for an unwanted frenship.. or to b frens with sumone who thinks she's so high and mighty.. i've been patient.. always accepting the things dat tek place .. forgiving even when the forgiveness wasnt ask for.. mayb is coz i've known her since v were kids.. i love her soo much not onli as a fren but also a sister.. bcoz her family is lyk a 2nd family to me. dey tek me everywhere as tho im part of their family.. but dis is wat happens.. ppl juz climb over my head.. i dono y im writing dis.. mayb its coz i've jz had enuf.. its reali upsetting..if my frenship is goin to be taken granted of..den y wanna cheat each other by faking to be best of frens..... ryt??

im not askin u to be d perfect fren to me..nor am i desperate for ur frenship..all im askin is atleast b a good fren is enough.. grow up..and humble urselft.. now is dat too much to ask?? the truth of the matter is.. i've learn to seek God thru thick and thin.. God is der to hear me out.. and God is der to gif me a shoulder to cry on.. JESUS became and is my BEST FRIEND :)

hosanna

feeling very spiritually down lately.. no mood to pray.. unable to feel His presence.. i kno its bad.. and need to get back on my feet!! the "no mood" thing also came to blogging.. having a pc with bad Internet connection reali suck..haiz.. nevertheless.. i've been hearing "hosanna" from hillsong quite often. it reminds me of how much i long for God.. to b with Him as He has been with me..and not praying.. i feel lyk an ungrateful scumbag.. feeling soo sad dat im not giving back to Him as how i shud..



Dear God..

heal me from my sins and unforgivingness.. heal me spritually and not let any outside force or any sort of worldly enpowerment to hover over me but only for ur grace, mercy, blessing, and Your truthfulness to guide me to thy full capacity and use me as thy instrument to spread thy mighty word oh Lord..


hear the song.. especaly the bridge part.. god its soo powerfull!!
it means alot to me.. hope it effects u the way it does for me..

HOSANNA
I see the king of glory

Coming on the clouds with fire

The whole earth shakes

The whole earth shakes


Yeeeah


I see his love and mercy

Washing over all our sin

The people sing

The people sing


[Chorus]

Hosanna

Hosanna

Hosanna in the highest x2


I see a generation

Rising up to take their place

With selfless faith

With selfless faith

I see a near revival

Stirring as we pray and seek

We're on our knees

We're on our knees



[Bridge]

Heal my heart and make it clean

Open up my eyes to the things unseen

Show me how to love like you have loved me

Break my heart from what breaks yours

Everything I am for your kingdoms cause

As I go from earth to Eternity........



[Chorus] x2

Hosanna in the highest

doin random surveys again...=_=

Do you sleep with your closet doors open or closed?
`i sleep in da hall.. so.. open???

Do you take the shampoos and conditioner bottles from hotel?
` noway!! hm..unless dey smell good.. kikiki

Do you sleep with your sheets tucked in or out?
`tucked in..!! wat if the boogey man touches my feet... :-/

Have you ever stolen a street sign before?
`do i look lyk dat desperate????

Do you like to use post-it notes?
`nah... hm.. wats post-it notes??

Do you cut out coupons but then never use them?
`i usualy gif it away..

Would you rather be attacked by a big bear or a swarm of a bees
`i'll run for my lyf!!! dats wat i'll do! T_T

Do you have freckles?
`nope.. :)

Do you always smile for pictures?
` no.. i say cheeeeeseeee!! =D

What is your biggest pet peeve?
` smokers...

Do you ever count your steps when you walk?
` hehe.. sumtyms..

Have you ever peed in the woods?
` nvr..

What about pooped in the woods?
`stupid..

Do you ever dance even if theres no music playing?
`haha.. ders music playin on my mind.. so yea..

Do you chew your pens and pencils?
` sumtyms... :)

How many people have you slept with this week?
` w t f...............................

What size is your bed?
`i don hv a bed! T_T

What is your Song of the week?
`better than life (hillsong)

Is it okay for guys to wear pink?
`yea.. y not.. but plz dont wear if its not nice on u..

Do you still watch cartoons?
`hehe.. yea.. animes...

Whats your least favorite movie?
hm.. hm.. cnt think of any..~~

Where would you bury hidden treasure if you had some?
` i'll dig a 6 feet deep hole and bury it bhind my backyard.. NOT!! ~

What do you drink with dinner?
`water la..

What do you dip a chicken nugget in?
`i lyk to eat juz chicken nuggets..

What is your favorite food?
`taufu sambal and dhal

What movies could you watch over and over and still love?
`mamma mia.. oh my god.. i dono y .. im juz addictd 2 it and ABBA songs!!!

Last person you kissed/kissed you?
` 1st kiss pun x da.. apa la...

Were you ever a boy/girl scout?
`nope.. i was in the red crescent!

Would you ever strip or pose nude in a magazine?
` if i had the perfect body i wud!! hold dat tot.. i aint anna nicole smith alryt!

When was the last time you wrote a letter to someone on paper?
`standard 3.. to a pen pal in sarawak.. she didnt write back... :_(

Can you change the oil on a car?
`no.. tomoro ny goin for the 6hours drivin khursus..

Ever gotten a speeding ticket?
` i havent gotten my driver's licence..

Ran out of gas?
` never experience dat..

Favorite kind of sandwich?
`tuna!!! yum yum..!

Best thing to eat for breakfast?
`tosai with anion chatni and chaiya..perfect...

What is your usual bedtime?
`2-4am..plus minus

Are you lazy?
` abit.. mayb a little bit more..

When you were a kid, what did you dress up as for Halloween?
` i was a mermaid.. :D

What is your Chinese astrological sign?
` hm............

How many languages can you speak?
` 5

Do you have any magazine subscriptions?
` eh.... womens weekly..

Which are better legos or lincoln logs?
` lincoln logs are cool..

Are you stubborn?
` ahem.. very..

Who is better...Leno or Letterman?
`i lyk letterman.. not dat i watch any of his lateshows and minus his scandolous affairs.. =s

Ever watch soap operas?
` ew!!!!!!! nver in a million yers!! its worst den watching tamil dramas!!

Afraid of heights?
`nope... i'd lyk to go bunjee one day..

Sing in the car?
`when im alone..

Dance in the shower?
`hehehehe....

Dance in the car?
`hehehehe...

Ever used a gun?
` yea.. in my dreams..

Last time you got a portrait taken by a photographer?
` nvr ..lolz.. wishing i was mona lisa..

Do you think musicals are cheesy?
`nope.. deir pretty soothing

Is Christmas stressful?
` y wud dey b.. after all i get presents and ang paos.. hhaha

Ever eat a pierogi?
` hm..wats dat??

Favorite type of fruit pie?
`banana!!

Occupations you wanted to be when you were a kid?
` a vetenarian

Do you believe in ghosts?
`nope.. i believe in JESUS CHRIST!

Ever have a Deja-vu feeling?
` many many many tyms..

Take a vitamin daily?
` my mom forces me to tek em.. haiz..

Wear slippers?
`yeap!!

Wear a bath robe?
`nope!

What do you wear to bed?
` short shorts and big-T

First concert?
` nvr been to any..

Wal-Mart, Target or Kmart?
` tesco got la.. :p

Nike or Adidas?
`Adidas..

Ever take dance lessons?
`yea.. by myself.. hehe

Is there a profession you picture your future spouse doing?
` perhaps a soldier/lecturer/engineer..

Can you curl your tongue?
`yeap.. i can show yer..

Have you ever cried because you were so happy?
`haha..yea.. when i got my results..

Regularly burn incense?
`do i luk lyk a buddhist??!!

Ever been in love?
`yea....

Who would you like to see in concert?
`probably a hillsong live concert or planet shakers!!

What was the last concert you saw?
`nvr been to any.. i kno.. my lyf is sad..

Hot tea or cold tea?
`hot tea

Tea or coffee?
`tea :)

Can you hold your breath without holding your nose?
`yes

Are you patient?
`depends

DJ or band, at a wedding?
`wud reali love a dj

Ever won a contest?
`yea..sum scrap book design contest during secondary school. hehe

Ever have plastic surgery?
`NEVER!!! hm.... thinking of lipo.. u kno.. for my big arms..
mayb rhino for my big nose.. ahem..juz kidding..why waste the beauty God
gave u ryt??

Can you knit or crochet?
`im good in crocheting..:)

Do you want to get married?
` yea la.. with the right one..:)

If married, how long have you been married?
` lyk.. FOREVER!!

Do you cry and throw a fit until you get your own way?
`haha.. when i was a kid.. really spoilt... haha

Whats your favorite color?
`BLACK

Do you miss anyone right now?
`maybe.. :-/

i can make it through the rain^^

I got my repeat exam results a few days ago.. i did pretty well!! but wasnt so satisfied with my maths2 tho.. nevertheless.. i've officially completed my foundation in science!!! yay!!!!!!!!! im soo happpy on dat part.. my parents hv nvr been soo proud of me.. getting so many treats for the pass few days.. my mom bought me 2 set of punjabi suits, dad bought me heels, and i got 4 free 25% discount coupons to play at cosmoplay in timesquare from my bro-in-law(im mor then willing to bring anyone)!!hehe.. but honestly ..i gif all the glory back to God.. bcoz without Him i wudnt hv gone this far nor wud i have worked dis hard.. THANK YOU LORD!! >.<

tho im enjoyin the joy of success.. a few of my frens dint do soo well.. feelin reali down for them.. i onli pray dat dey wont gif up and continue to b strong and work hard!! when i cud do it by the grace of God so so can u! becoz God has promised us to make us the head and not the tail :)

"i can make it through the rain" by mariah carey has been ringing in my head for the pass few days.. i keep humming the song everywhere i go!! and i realise hw much the song depicts my struggles in life and hw much i hold on to dat little faith.. as little dat faith mayb to me.. its a big deal to God..haha..




u simply dedicate dis song to my frens and to those who endured/enduring many challenges and successes or failures.. hope this song inspires u ^^

enjoy the song.... :)





When you get caught in the rain with no where to run
When you're distraught and in pain without anyone
When you keep cryin out to be saved but nobody comes
And you feel so far away that you just can't find your way home
You can get there alone
It's ok, won't you say



I can make it through the rain
I can stand up once again on my own and I know that I'm strong enough to mend
And every time I feel afraid
I hold tighter to my faith and I live one more day and I make it through the rain

And if you keep falling down, don't you dare give in
You will arise safe and sound, so keep pressing on steadfastly and you'll find what you need to prevail
What you say



I can make it through the rain
I can stand up once again on my own and I know that I'm strong enough to mend
And every time I feel afraid
I hold tighter to my faith and I live one more day and I make it through the rain



And when the wind blows
And shadows grow close
Don't be afraid
There's nothing you can't face
And should they tell you, you'll never pull through



Don't hesitate, stand tall and say



I can make it through the rain
I can stand up once again on my own and I know that I'm strong enough to mend
And every time I feel afraid I hold tighter to my faith
And I live one more day and I make it through the rain
And I can make it through the rain and stand up once again
And I live one more day and I,
I can make it through the rain
Oh yes you can,


You're gonna make it through the rain......



:-)


PS:got to get ready for degree now... FINALY!

sunway lagoon` 09-10-09

had a good tym in sunway lagoon! altogather vanz,ganz, shabin, shalini, gaya3, nitya and myself!! d funniest thing happen which is no one knew shabin was gona make it.. and ganz wud hv been d onli guy coming..he was pretty worked up about it.. but.. i think he was probably hopin to b a playboy for one day.. kiki.. anyways.. went with shabin to meet ganz 1st in POPULAR in pyramid.. shabin was hiding bhind me to gif ganz a surprice.. but ended up ganz surpricing us by sneaking up bhind uS!!!! gosh... buta giler la! met up with the other and off to the lagOONs!!!! played both the wet and dry themeparks and had a blast on the slides and rides! one time ur lifted off the ground and another tym ur on the ground.. 100%% adrenaline rush! den got super wet in da rain.. was shivering lyk no ones business!! the good thing was.. since der was no sun so ders no sunburns!! yay!!!!! haleluyah amen!

worst part was.. i didnt kno v were up for a movie later on and i didnt bring long pants!! it was kinda odd walking around pyramid with short short ~~..felt reali bare... wonder hw d chinese do it =s .. v went la for one reali reali boring movie .. it was called "the private lives of pippa lee". it starred keanu reeves(he was cute as usual!!), blake lively, and julian moore.. judging by the cast.. obviosly u wud think its a good movie aite?! but no.. i onli hv one sentence to tell u 'do not watch it!!!!' . haha.. anyways.. was exposed to too much air conditioner during the movie.. had terrible leg cramps the nex day! :_( ..got over it by dipping my leg into hot water... (haaaa.. sooo nice....)

here are the pics btw..........!


`the group pic

`ganz and me^^

`this is funny.. nythia, yudhes and rambo???

` shal, me, nytz, gaya and vanz

`vanz,nytz,gaya,shabin,shal and me

`ganz and nytz

`..ermmmm... me..

`shalini!

`vanz and shalz

`ganz's chicken backsyd hair.. keke

`nitti and me..

` owkay.. dis is sooo retarded!!!~~

`shabin and ganz

` hehe..cute couple..














`hm.... mcm mother and daughter je..~

`nytia ..dead poser..

`... *sweat!!!